Clacton loses hardworking MP
- Wrenfoe
- 8 hours ago
- 1 min read
As Nigel Farage resigns, the constituents of Clacton will have to do without his uncanny ability to look busy while doing absolutely nothing. They fondly recalled his ‘delegating’ of casework tasks by pretending not to hear them. And whose main parliamentary achievement was turning up late and leaving early.
One Clacton resident observed, ‘I admired his unwavering commitment to avoiding eye contact when responsibility approached. And I’ll miss his bold stance of abstaining from everything, except free lunches. His surgery was a locked door and a sign saying ‘Back in 10 minutes’…for eight months straight.’
The community will miss Mr Farage’s dedicated outreach programme—one Christmas card sent to the wrong address. Said another, ‘He was the human equivalent of a phone line that rang forever and was never answered. At least his inbox will finally know peace after years of being used exclusively as storage.’
image from Grok
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