It’s the curse of every superhero’s life: fighting crime in secret is a full-time job. Peter Parker fell behind with his studies. Clark Kent faced the sack on a regular basis. Nigel Farage’s absences from Clacton and the House of Commons might cost him the next election. Lucky for him his job has zero penalties for goofing off.
We don’t know which crimes he’s preventing, or which damsels he’s rescuing from distress. We don’t even know what his costume looks like – presumably it’s a flag of some sort. Hammer and sickle, possibly.
What we do know is that Nigel isn’t where he’s supposed to be – which can only mean one thing. He’s fighting crime. Rescuing kittens from blazing rooftops. Fighting pitched battles with supervillains. If you need him, Nigel will be there*. Just project a silhouette of Mein Kampf into the night sky and The Incredible Sulk will be by your side.
*Offer not available in Clacton or other depressing places.
Image: tookapic - Pixabay
A pub in Clacton appears to have led the wave of pubs that are refusing to serve MPs. Most of the recent pubs have specified Labour MPs, but some can't spell Labour so have left it a bit more generic.
Most landlords quietly admit they wouldn't recognise their MP if he or she walked in anyway as the last election was over a year ago and they weren't in when the prospective candidates knocked on their front door.
It transpires that the initiative started in Clacton, nearly eighteen months ago. The landlord hasn't changed his point of view but as nobody has seen their MP anywhere in Clacton since the election it seemed a waste of window space.
image from google gemini