Well Deskpilot has done it again with a very creditable 42. SimonJJames has given Desky a good run for his money, but just fell shy. All the links, the one-liners and the cartoon of the month below as usual
Front Page, News in Brief and Features
apepper
billclay
Chipchase
deejaygo1887
Deskpilot
eppursimuove
ian searle
James_Doc
jeremynh
Lockjaw
McDabble
Newsbiscuit Editorial Team
rogt
Rowly
simonjjames
sinnick
Sir Lupus
Sketchly
SteveB
Sully
Throngsman
Titus
Wrenfoe
Cartoon of the month goes to Lockjaw with Trump reacts to the announcement of Nobel Peace Prize winner
Headlines
Adrian Bamforth
Chelmsford Prison denies sex offender asked for packed lunch
Hamas promise to try and be less murdery
Louvre thieves still trapped in Escher section
apepper
Meerkats and penguins behind Madagascar coup attempt
Benvoleo
Full stop thief to get a long sentence
bobski
Reform MP complains of non-Aryan model in Nazi cosplay ad
Deskpilot
2p or not 2p, that is the question, Rachel
Airbnb lists 30 room Windsor house at very reasonable rates
Art thieves got in through Louvre window
CofE appoints female archbishop 'in good faith'
Dodgy PPE fails to protect Baroness Mone
Gulliver's Travels fan disappointed by online Swifties group
Israel surprised that Hamas have sent back Shergar
Lecornu to quit and be reappointed on a weekly basis
Lost your AWS internet services? Try asking next door...
Posh coffee £7.50. Posh coffee poured down the drain in Richmond, £157.50
Rachel Reeves panics as Keir Starmer expresses 'full confidence' in her
RFK: well, circumcision made me autistic
Scottish hairdresser fails to get on to curling team
The Andrew formerly known as Prince
The Longer Legs project is making great strides
Things happening in Celebrity Traitors definitely news, says BBC
Tired comedian diagnosed with irony deficiency
Tories promise to abolish Stamp Duty, Europe and gravity
Trump nominated for Nobel Taking The Peace Prize
Weighing machine enthusiast builds scale model
Well Plaid
Westminster council slow to deal with snail farm fraud
dominic_mcg
Blacksmiths vote to strike while the iron is hot
Bonnie Blue to sue government over “one in, one out” scheme
Dance student leaves Ballet School with a 2:2
Farage reminds Reform voters to put their clocks back to 1938
Footwear reality show to get reboot
eppursimuove
First Archbishop of Canterbury no bishopric
Granger
New Japanese PM To be known as Stainless Steel Lady?
ian searle
Experts claim Louvre Heist may actually have been a Caper
James_doc
Cutbacks at military firing range see staff fired
jeremynh
Hadush Kebatu 'honoured' to be elected Labour deputy leader
jim Skinz
Andrew says he'll duke it out over Royal Lodge removal
Church of England introduces Rector points at its gift shops
Judge late for court case blames missed carriage of justice
Joe
Turkish barbers say stop calling us 'Grooming Gangs'
lockjaw
Bouquets for Hyacinth
Diane 'Annie Hall' Keaton dead at 79. Oh, well. La di dah. :(
Jilly Cooper bonked her head
mcdabble
Cease-fire may include a certain period of resume-fire, says Trump
Gone Dancing
ICE has freed up jobs that shutdown furloughed workers can take, says Trump
Right to free speech to be restricted to protect freedom of expression
Skin colour is not about the colour of your skin, says Jenrick
Starmer challenges Farage to a game of conkers
Zelensky gets Big Orange Nothing
mick turate
Gaza to become World's largest golf course
Remake of Dixon of Dock Green to portray him as a racist homophobic bigot
Trump awards himself a Trump Peace Prize
Trump imposes 100% tariffs on Nobelia
Midfield Diamond
‘Brain disorder caused by circumcision’ claims dickhead
Modelmaker
BBC demands part of the policing budget for the crimes it claims to have investigated
Celebrity chef arrested for poaching salmon
Historians claim the birdman of Alcatraz wasn't trans after all
Rape music DJ charged
Tiddlywinks championships attacker shot by counter-terrorism police
Trump adds 3 more sides to the Pentagon: a strip joint, casino and a brothel
Newsbiscuit Editorial Team
Rachel Reeves rents house to man named Andrew
Paul L
UK elastic band company stretched to snapping point
ron cawleyoni
Andrew still refusing to be dislodged
rowly
Bra manufacturer goes tits up
Corbyn joins another Pantomime in the run up to Xmas
santosh
Andrew and Epstein masks selling well for Halloween
Prince Andrew will be available for panto this year
simonjjames
Conservative leader Badenoch pledges to ban climate change
Huge news about area procrastinator later
Prince Andrew to run as Reform UK MP in next by election
Prince Harry called up from reserves into Royals first team
sinnick
Man blames his dyslexia on a misspelt youth
Sir Lupus
Jenrick wants more white faces as leader of opposition
sketchly
Disappointment and frustration for Starmer as sausages still not released
SteveB
Apple introduces revolutionary new laptop with no laptop
Follow the Mone-y
White House down
Throngsman
God fined for pouring rain down coffee drains
Trump deports Habeas Corpus
Titus
Arrested Louvre thieves ask to be transferred to Chelsmsford Prison - at least temorarily
Baby-rapist singer fails to complete life sentence
British monarch & Pope praying together proves one thing - no-one gives a stuff
Eurostar plans double-decker-bus replacement service
Hamas worried freed Israeli hostages might leave negative Tripadvisor comments
'It's OK to have a mere woman as Archbishop of Canterbury' says C of E
Netanyahu offers to help Trump test nuclear weapons- in Gaza
Prince Andrew urged 'You're in a hole - please keep digging'
Protesters riot outside Chelmsford Prison, demanding 'Why isn't he in here?'
Refurbished White House to incorporate an orangery
Trump ends 1 war in Gaza, and starts 8 more in USA cities
tonymc
Badenoch reveals: 'I identify as a white upper class racist'
Blair suspects Gaza has weapons of mass destruction
GB news to open GoFundMe page for Andrew & Fergie
It's official: Met Police are now run from Tel Aviv
Jenrick highlights whites not intergrating in Hansworth
Jenrick insists, I can be a bigger pillock than Farage
Johnson asks Covid inquiry, What is a Cobra meeting?
Stone tablet shows Hadrian wanted Picts to pay for the wall
Trump insists Mexico will pay to rebuild Gaza
Trump: Moses was quite a guy , but people say I'm better
Walter Eagle
Met urges Windsor sex offender to hand himself in
