Prisoners leave HMP Blunder for the Christmas break
- Jeremynh
- 21 minutes ago
- 1 min read
HMP Blunder is breaking up for the Christmas holidays after a busy autumn term.
Its 347 inmates will be released by mistake to wander around deprived areas of London in their prison clothes until they are rounded up by the police and herded back to their cells.
HMP Blunder's governor, Eric Bungle, will oversee the end-of-term prize giving ceremony, when everyone will sing the prison song: It's the Most Blunderful Time of the Year.
Hadush Kebatu is to be given the Metropolitan Police Award for being the cinchest person ever to catch.
Justice Secretary David Lammy has been made Head Scapegoat, so that the Prison Service has someone to take the blame for its constant foul-ups.
There will be no deportations at the end of term because the Home Office has been too disorganised to arrange the flights.
HMP Blunder starts its new term in January, or February, or whenever the cops manage to find everyone.
It will then be welcoming several new faces, thanks to Mr Lammy's cost-cutting court reforms. They'll be people sent to jail on the whim of a judge after a jury-less trial, or having had no trial at all.
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