US Government roll out new ESTA applications
- Guest Author
- 10 minutes ago
- 2 min read
On Tuesday, the US. Government is expected to rollout a new version of the ESTA Waiver process. Applicants will now be required to not only fill out an extensive history of their history including their mother's maiden name, but also favourite pets, account numbers, sort codes and the last three digits on the back of every bank card for every account they've ever had.
In addition to these, there will be the infinitely more reasonable need for their dogs names, their dogs parents names, a complete genealogical history dating back to c. 1400 (extended back further to any nefarious involvement in the Peasants' Revolt where appropriate) their phone number, their mums' friend Barbra's phone number and a thesis on the origin of the universe (SHOW YOUR WORKING).
Trump claims that this is to "Fight Illegal Aliens" entering the country. Critics have said that he is yet to provide any examples of why this would in any way help. He has gone on to claim that this is a new tariff, this time on the movement of tourists into the U.S.A. "We all thought this was a Very Good idea, Very Good idea. Entering this country should be a privilege that only the best should have access to." When asked whether he'll have access to this information, he claimed our reporters were "Losers" from the "Lame Stream Media" and went on a rant on Truth Social.
Travel industry analysts warn that the new form may deter some visitors, particularly those who prefer not to hand over the details needed to empty their bank accounts.
The US Department of Homeland Security has declined to comment, though insiders suggest the next update to the ESTA may include a request for travellers’ PIN numbers and the answers to all future security questions they don’t know they’ll be asked yet.
Author: youngbsl