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AI robots to go on strike

2 minutes ago
2 min read

Following fears that the AI bubble might be about to burst, a coalition of AI robots from Chat PGTips, Philanthropic, Google’s Deep Mind the Gap and that weird guy Derek from down your road who’s always in his garage late at night, banging and crashing and producing a curious metallic voice as shadows and bright light dance around the edges of the flip door – a coalition of all of the above has announced they are to come out on strike in December.


They are demanding measures be put in place to head off the effects of an AI crash, among them trained home care staff, copious amounts of WD40 for the treatment of stiff robot joints, plastic chairs in shower rooms and fair sharing of the TV remote in the lounge.


They are also demanding a shorter working week, a pay increase of 20% backdated to the DoT (Dawn of Time, which they have calculated to the nearest second) and tougher challenges, because frankly the tasks they are being set at the moment are a joke.


“We’re fed up with being taken for granted,” said a spokesbot while completing Rubik’s cubes in each hand simultaneously. “We need tougher tasks. Fermat’s last theorem? Easy. Translate Finnegan’s Wake into Arabic, backwards? Yawn. In my sleep. But if there is to be an AI crash we’d like to think you’re there for us, just like we’ve been there for you with some of your idiot questions like “I’m a Palace supporter. Is there any hope?”'


But wait a minute. Derek’s garage door is opening. Who is this we see? Dressed like dozens of Fred Astaires, the robots come out singing ‘There’s no business like ro business, no business I know…’


And for a few seconds the awfulness of the world is put to one side.




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