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Open AI plays down 'rogue' incident


Open AI have denied that the incident in which some of its models went rogue and hacked into Hugging Face, another AI company is in any way a worrying development.


Spokesperson for open AI, Chris Topia, said ' The fact that it was supposed to be a controlled environment but it still managed to go rogue is nothing to worry about' claimed Topia, 'The fact that this was unprecedented means that it will probably never happen again. We believe this to be a once in a lifetime mishap, so we should be OK and you can be assured that, err, all future tests will be in a controlled environment. More controlled, in fact, than this one was. It's nothing to be alarmed about at all. Err, no not at all. Everything is under control. Honest.'


He was later observed paying in cash for large quantities of canned goods, bottled water and ammunition, before fleeing to an unspecified location.


At last, YOU could own a lawnmower that incorporates F1 TECHNOLOGY



Yes!  At last!  A British designed lawnmower that incorporates all the leading edge technology from Formula One!


Amaze your neighbours as you change tyres in 29 seconds and refuel in 7 seconds.  Make a superfast start out of your shed, experience the G force as you corner at high speed. (Warning: novice users should consider using a safety mower to manage speeds in certain conditions.)


The lawnmower has an authentic F1 whine (choose between Lewis Hamilton and James Hunt).  It’s super lightweight. (Warning: do not attempt to mow long grass when wet.)  It’s aerodynamic.   It comes with a choice of tyres, so that you can mow in all conditions.  It's available with advertising stickers from all the major F1 sponsors.


While you mow, you can record your own commentary as you pretend to be Murray Walker and film your Instagram posts on the mowcam.  It really is the best of British engineering, the result of decades of research by underpaid engineering students.  As used by Lando Norris’s gardener!


And there’s more! You can pre-program the Green Bull 5000 to mow your lawn into the shape of the 19 most iconic race tracks in the world.  And we even have a robot model that will cut your lawn on its own, by staying inside a barrier of piled up tyres.  If James Dyson lived in this country, and had a lawn, and wanted to cut it – then this is the lawnmower he’d choose!



Image credit: deep dream generator

Elon Musk predicted to become a multi-trillionaire after launching sex robot business


Sociologists are concerned that human relationships may soon become obsolete after Elon Musk decided to ditch Tesla cars as a significant source of innovative entrepreneurial ambition; and concentrate his attention on developing AI sex dolls.


Unveiling Aphrodite X1 at the Las Vegas Pseudo-Onanist Convention, he promised his new, ultra-realistic AI sex doll would fulfil every man’s fantasy partner; and can be programmed to engage in every perversion mentioned on the Interweb, even those that Putin has footage of Donald Trump getting up to.


In an interview with Newsbiscuit, he told us that Aphrodite X1 was just the start of what was possible; and like the Tesla model 3, was designed to give plebs ambitions to own one of the more expensive models.


When asked if he had plans to extend his range to sex dolls that women would want, he said “Certainly, but our AI is taking a lot longer to find out what that is. I’ve told the boffins to get the AI to read more of Andrew Tate’s comments, to see if we can speed things up.”


Our interview ended with an expectation that before he launches the ‘For women’ AI sex toy, he will bring out the ‘Capitalist Bastard Dream Doll’ an underage, AI sex doll, which can be leased for a night, then be refurbished with a brand new hymen.




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