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Word has reached us that US investment firm Gordon Brothers is seeking a buyer for it's Poundland stores that it bought in the summer of 2025 for a symbolic £1.


The chain has been struggling for a number of years due to pressures including rising costs and competition.

Launched in 1990, the chain where "everything's £1" was good value for money, but 36 years later, £1 does not buy anywhere near as much as it once did.


In fact, to reflect the rate of inflation since 1990, it is expected that the new owners will rename the discount chain to Two-pounds-fifty-seven-land.


image by Grok



Christa Pike, the Tennessee woman the authorities seem unable to kill, is to be immortalised as a new superhero in the Marvel comic-book pantheon.


Pike, who has been on death row for 30 years following her conviction for the murder of a classmate, was twice subjected to lethal injection. Both times she came round asking herself whether this tableau of doctors and lawmen with their mouths hanging open could really be the afterlife.


After a frantic debate, those present decided it was their constitutional duty to provide medical care for Pike, at least until she was well enough for them to try and kill her again.


'Obviously her superpower will be that she can’t be killed,' explained comic book nerd Dwight Scabies. 'Not with poison, anyhow. Though I guess if they ever write a story where she’s released from prison, maybe gun violence or the American diet will get her.'


Severely brain-damaged and dependent on artificial aids to maintain even the most basic sentient activity, Donald Trump is nevertheless President of the United States.



Image credit: Wix AI



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There are less than thirty days to the US mid-term elections. The polls look very bad for Donald Trump, so he’ll need to put in an unbelievable performance to turn things around.


Here are our best predictions of what you can expect...


Trump tries to shout down the price of oil, again


Trump offers to arm Argentina so that they can take back Las Malvinas on condition that they are renamed The American Islands and that the US gets all the oil


Millions of dollars are spent on social media disinformation and lies


Trump demolishes the White House west-wing to build a new casino


Trump declares victory over Iran because Iran hasn't gained a single inch of territory


The Board of Peace takes over FIFA. FIFA announces that 2028 World Cup will be held in Gaza in 2028, just before the US presidential elections


ICE officers are filmed eating immigrants' pets


Trump tries to shout down interest rates, again


Iran steals the Epstein files in full and publishes them. Trump says it's all fake news.


In a bizarre tribute to Douglas Adams, Donald Trump decides to insult all world leaders in alphabetical order


Trump confirms his third and fourth terms


Trump suspends the US Constitution due to a National Emergency that he will explain ‘shortly’


Trump's mates buy all US media outlets. All media outlets predict a massive ground-breaking, world-beating, lip-smacking, thirst-quenching, mid-term election win for Trump.



Image credit: NewsBiscuit archive



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