Mandelson both passes and fails vetting

'Yes,' sighed a previously quite enthusiastic Foreign Office press nerd, 'it is true that Peter Mandelson failed vetting. But there is a bit more to it than that.'

'The vetting computer is in a locked room and is not connected to the internet. It runs on Windows 3.1 and an old database called, ironically Paradox, which was very popular for about 3 weeks in the nineties. We have to boot the computer using seven old-style floppy disks, and it takes ages. We keep asking for a new computer, but they always say that the money is needed for someone else.

'Anyway, Mandelson failed vetting on the first attempt and the reason given was No Valid Parameter for Subroutine checkifdodgy. We get that error message quite a lot, and standard operating procedure is to switch it all off, give it a kick, and turn it all back on again. So that's what we did. And when we ran the vetting programme again, thirty minutes later, Mandelson passed.

'So that's all you need to know. Mandelson failed vetting. Mandelson passed vetting. They're both true. So the logical consequence is that the PM should both resign and remain. Then everyone will be happy.

'Won't they?'

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