Scientists hatch new Strait of Hormuz Uncertainty Principle
- Jeremynh
- 4 minutes ago
- 1 min read
"At the moment, the Americans say the Strait of Hormuz is open to shipping and the Iranians say it is closed," said Dr Hiram Smorgasbord of Kharg Island Armageddon University.
"The only way of checking which is true is to sail an oil tanker through the strait and then switch on the news.
"If you see pictures of the tanker in flames and spewing thousands of tons of crude oil into the sea, you'll know the strait was closed and the captain was very silly to try and go through it."
"That's fake news!" said Donald Trump, ordering a Tomahawk strike on the university. "The Iranians are doing everything I say because I won, and they totally opened up the strait at my command.
"Believe me, you could put a cat in a drawer with a vial of poison and it could go right through the Strait of Hormuz and come out 100% alive.
"Let me show you now. I'll just grab this pussy..."