White House denies rumours

'The President is definitely not going to start a war in Venezuela, definitely not going to get bogged down in guerilla combat in the mountains and jungle, definitely not going to see the war to spread into Columbia, definitely not going to divert weapons to that war from Ukraine, definitely not going to use the National Guard to put down anti-war protests, definitely not going to take over Canada, definitely not going to use the chaos as an excuse to delay the US Presidential election, absolutely definitely not going to use Europe's support for Canada as an excuse to let down NATO allies when Russia attacks in Eastern Europe, and absolutely definitely positively not following China and Russia's grand plan for the fall of the Western World.' said a spokesman.

'So that's alright then.'

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