top of page
Search

Newsbiscuit Writer of the Month December 2025


ree


ree

Deskpilot has pulled it off again scoring what is one of the largest scores I can recall since the competition started eight years ago. Jeremynh and I drew joint second and third place goes to McDabble with an impressive headlines score.


As usual the links to all the subs are below, followed by the Cartoon of the month and tail-ended with the headlines that were published this month.


Then I'll be off to calculate the Writer of the Year, so look out for another posting, possibly tonight!


Front Page, News in Brief and Features


apepper



billclay







Chipchase



DavidH



Deskpilot




















Dominic_mcg



Emerick Meriwether




eppursimuove




harrypalmer



ian searle



James_Doc





Jamie Dodger



jeremynh













Lockjaw




McDabble





Midfield Diamond




Newsbiscuit Editorial Team



Robowurzel



Scribbles





Sir Lupus




SteveB



Sully







Throngsman














Titus



Walter Eagle



Wrenfoe












youngbsl



Cartoon of the month goes to Deskpilot with Trump mobile phone: shipping now!!!


Headlines


Adrian Bamforth        


BBC: Trump lawsuit will not affect Mrs Brown's Boys repeats schedules

Builder offers to cover Bayeux Tapestry for half the cost using tarpaulin

Crown Jewels attackers taken into custardy

Repeats of Roy Rogers TV shows to come with Trigger warning


apepper    

      

Dickens' Christmas Carol may have been ghost written

Doctor says Trump's stool sample "normal" after hearing his speeches


BillClay    

        

Bill for Covid enquiry forwarded to Michelle Mone

Gaping hole causes unexpected canal leakage

New Trump warship looks suspiciously like a Venezuelan oil tanker painted gold

Pathetic, whiny man to get made up Peace prize from sycophantic football bellend

World Darts Federation creates an Orange Piece of Crap Prize


Deskpilot    

   

Bayeux tapestry: was the truth embroidered?

Bored entomologist persists with tick boxing exercise

Cut price fish bought by cheapskate

Doctors call off strike, but call in sick with flu

Gazans not keen on Xmas footie game in no man's land

Government borrowing: Reeves takes all the credit

Government will reverse all tax rises if enough people complain

Holly Willoughby fined £1,600 for careless queue jumping

Impecunious masochist is always strapped for cash

Israel wins Eurovision after everyone else pulls out

Jake Paul: Come back here and I'll bite your legs off

'Macbeth' Starmer worrying that Burnham would

Man who invented Pot Noodle wins FIFA prize for Science

Man who lives on mountain top says there are downsides

Nativity play director uses a crib sheet

Netanyahu approves new settlement on the Isle of Wight

Netanyahu tells Australia it's all their fault

Plans for new library shelved

Putin says Russia will take Eurovision by force

Salah, Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, Goodbye...

The Guardian reports first F1 win for Chuck Norris


dominic_mcg 


Italian dinosaur footprints could be David Attenborough's


hokeyloki    

    

England win in Australia - Hell "closely monitoring" temperatures


ian searle     

  

Confused horticulturist not sure what to do when sent on Gardening Leave

Psychologist who postulated 'Imposter Syndrome' doesn't think they deserve the credit

Teachers to be trained to spot early signs of children not liking sprouts


james_doc    

 

Bonny Blue Endorses Reform, "I know all about screwing the UK"


jim skinz       

  

1980s tribute band formed in Yorkshire: T't'pau


Lockjaw 

         

BDSM club out on the lash for Christmas

Pope: no-one can hold a candle to Archbishop Moth


mcdabble   

   

David Walliams denies saying 'Bitty' in editorial meeting

FIFA awards 'The FIFA prize in Economics' to Donald Trump

Frozen Russian assets must be defrosted for 24hrs before use, say experts

GP surgeries overwhelmed with patients 'not feeling Christmassy'

Greenland to annexe Alaska

I ended 8 wars so I'm owed starting one, says Trump

Invisible Man seeks 'Inappropriate Friends' in Balmoral area

Museums now so boring that not even staff notice if stuff goes missing, says report

Parish council accuses Jewish residents of 'attracting extremists'

Putin has only a few days left to make The Simpsons' prediction come true

Scientists discover that Zebras have stripes so they are less likely to be spotted

Scots still not spent coin after 900 years

Trump ballroom will be built to last 1000 years

US is now the world's leading unclear power

Your Party expels every single member in quest for ideological purity


mick turate   

 

Keir Starmer bans all Labour voters from visiting Jeremy Clarkson's pub

Mr Blobby outed in Epstein files

RSPCA Lottery tells cats and dogs to gamble responsibly


Midfield Diamond     


US encourages visits from Australian under-16s


Modelmaker  


Air traffic controllers' strike planned for Christmas Eve 'beyond belief' says Santa Claus

Andrew relinquishes shotguns but retains double-barrelled name

Arguments over the rules of new board game enter 5th day

Genetically modified Brussels sprouts promise half-hearted farts

Global warming blamed for unusually early flu season

Kakologophobics demand 'having a shit' is replaced by the more genteel 'having a Farage'

Pam Bondi's dog given Christmas homework of eating remaining Epstein files

Russia awards Trump the No Balls Peace Prize

Shrinkflation: Terry’s chocolate orange reclassified as chocolate satsuma


robowurzel  

   

Australia bans News Biscuit for under-65s


rowly  

Crop circles discovered in Trump's hair

Starmer offers Putin the Isle of Wight in exchange for Crimea

'Your Party' waiting for appointment at Identity Clinic


santosh    

       

Trump is once again 'very close' to achieving nothing


sinnick    

        

Frenchman gets fed up with egg jokes: 'Un Å“uf est un Å“uf'


SteveB 


FIFA kicks racism back into football

Great British Railways loses track


sully    


DoJ apologises for asking Yossarian to do Epstein redactions


Titus   


All juries accidentally permanently discharged

Another Russian general dies in a Special Military Accidental Explosion

Perverted farmworker's crimes described as 'harrowing'

PM spends tax revenue on apprenticeships for youngsters sacked due to increased tax on employers

Proposed international octopus protection plan 'has legs'


tonymc      

      

Badenoch : I love this country, it's only it's poor I hate

Badenoch decides not to ask PM how Covid enquiry is going

Badenoch vows to keep making faces at Starmer

FIFA sells football's soul to Satan

Fraudsters lobby for return of Tory Government

Jesus was English insists Yaxley Lennon

Labours fault Tories closed or sold 219 Courts says Badenoch

Proposed ID cards to clearly specify, Royal, Lord, Peasant or Andrew

World laughs as Britain hands out it's Empire medals


Walter Eagle  


Sinatra upset Muslim leader: Golden Frank incensed Emir


writingbsl    

   

1st century Strep evidence: 4 Hoarsemen of the Apocalypse

Chinese return UK gvt data: too inaccurate




bottom of page