Newsbiscuit Writer of the Month December 2025
- Newsbiscuit Editorial Team
- Dec 31, 2025
- 7 min read
Deskpilot has pulled it off again scoring what is one of the largest scores I can recall since the competition started eight years ago. Jeremynh and I drew joint second and third place goes to McDabble with an impressive headlines score.
As usual the links to all the subs are below, followed by the Cartoon of the month and tail-ended with the headlines that were published this month.
Then I'll be off to calculate the Writer of the Year, so look out for another posting, possibly tonight!
Front Page, News in Brief and Features
apepper
billclay
Chipchase
Environmental Control Officers issued with state-of-the-art equipment in tighter crackdown on litter
DavidH
Deskpilot
Dominic_mcg
Emerick Meriwether
eppursimuove
harrypalmer
ian searle
James_Doc
Jamie Dodger
jeremynh
Lockjaw
McDabble
Midfield Diamond
Newsbiscuit Editorial Team
Robowurzel
Scribbles
Sir Lupus
SteveB
Sully
Throngsman
Titus
Walter Eagle
Wrenfoe
youngbsl
Cartoon of the month goes to Deskpilot with Trump mobile phone: shipping now!!!
Headlines
Adrian Bamforth
BBC: Trump lawsuit will not affect Mrs Brown's Boys repeats schedules
Builder offers to cover Bayeux Tapestry for half the cost using tarpaulin
Crown Jewels attackers taken into custardy
Repeats of Roy Rogers TV shows to come with Trigger warning
apepper
Dickens' Christmas Carol may have been ghost written
Doctor says Trump's stool sample "normal" after hearing his speeches
BillClay
Bill for Covid enquiry forwarded to Michelle Mone
Gaping hole causes unexpected canal leakage
New Trump warship looks suspiciously like a Venezuelan oil tanker painted gold
Pathetic, whiny man to get made up Peace prize from sycophantic football bellend
World Darts Federation creates an Orange Piece of Crap Prize
Deskpilot
Bayeux tapestry: was the truth embroidered?
Bored entomologist persists with tick boxing exercise
Cut price fish bought by cheapskate
Doctors call off strike, but call in sick with flu
Gazans not keen on Xmas footie game in no man's land
Government borrowing: Reeves takes all the credit
Government will reverse all tax rises if enough people complain
Holly Willoughby fined £1,600 for careless queue jumping
Impecunious masochist is always strapped for cash
Israel wins Eurovision after everyone else pulls out
Jake Paul: Come back here and I'll bite your legs off
'Macbeth' Starmer worrying that Burnham would
Man who invented Pot Noodle wins FIFA prize for Science
Man who lives on mountain top says there are downsides
Nativity play director uses a crib sheet
Netanyahu approves new settlement on the Isle of Wight
Netanyahu tells Australia it's all their fault
Plans for new library shelved
Putin says Russia will take Eurovision by force
Salah, Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, Goodbye...
The Guardian reports first F1 win for Chuck Norris
dominic_mcg
Italian dinosaur footprints could be David Attenborough's
hokeyloki
England win in Australia - Hell "closely monitoring" temperatures
ian searle
Confused horticulturist not sure what to do when sent on Gardening Leave
Psychologist who postulated 'Imposter Syndrome' doesn't think they deserve the credit
Teachers to be trained to spot early signs of children not liking sprouts
james_doc
Bonny Blue Endorses Reform, "I know all about screwing the UK"
jim skinz
1980s tribute band formed in Yorkshire: T't'pau
Lockjaw
BDSM club out on the lash for Christmas
Pope: no-one can hold a candle to Archbishop Moth
mcdabble
David Walliams denies saying 'Bitty' in editorial meeting
FIFA awards 'The FIFA prize in Economics' to Donald Trump
Frozen Russian assets must be defrosted for 24hrs before use, say experts
GP surgeries overwhelmed with patients 'not feeling Christmassy'
Greenland to annexe Alaska
I ended 8 wars so I'm owed starting one, says Trump
Invisible Man seeks 'Inappropriate Friends' in Balmoral area
Museums now so boring that not even staff notice if stuff goes missing, says report
Parish council accuses Jewish residents of 'attracting extremists'
Putin has only a few days left to make The Simpsons' prediction come true
Scientists discover that Zebras have stripes so they are less likely to be spotted
Scots still not spent coin after 900 years
Trump ballroom will be built to last 1000 years
US is now the world's leading unclear power
Your Party expels every single member in quest for ideological purity
mick turate
Keir Starmer bans all Labour voters from visiting Jeremy Clarkson's pub
Mr Blobby outed in Epstein files
RSPCA Lottery tells cats and dogs to gamble responsibly
Midfield Diamond
US encourages visits from Australian under-16s
Modelmaker
Air traffic controllers' strike planned for Christmas Eve 'beyond belief' says Santa Claus
Andrew relinquishes shotguns but retains double-barrelled name
Arguments over the rules of new board game enter 5th day
Genetically modified Brussels sprouts promise half-hearted farts
Global warming blamed for unusually early flu season
Kakologophobics demand 'having a shit' is replaced by the more genteel 'having a Farage'
Pam Bondi's dog given Christmas homework of eating remaining Epstein files
Russia awards Trump the No Balls Peace Prize
Shrinkflation: Terry’s chocolate orange reclassified as chocolate satsuma
robowurzel
Australia bans News Biscuit for under-65s
rowly
Crop circles discovered in Trump's hair
Starmer offers Putin the Isle of Wight in exchange for Crimea
'Your Party' waiting for appointment at Identity Clinic
santosh
Trump is once again 'very close' to achieving nothing
sinnick
Frenchman gets fed up with egg jokes: 'Un œuf est un œuf'
SteveB
FIFA kicks racism back into football
Great British Railways loses track
sully
DoJ apologises for asking Yossarian to do Epstein redactions
Titus
All juries accidentally permanently discharged
Another Russian general dies in a Special Military Accidental Explosion
Perverted farmworker's crimes described as 'harrowing'
PM spends tax revenue on apprenticeships for youngsters sacked due to increased tax on employers
Proposed international octopus protection plan 'has legs'
tonymc
Badenoch : I love this country, it's only it's poor I hate
Badenoch decides not to ask PM how Covid enquiry is going
Badenoch vows to keep making faces at Starmer
FIFA sells football's soul to Satan
Fraudsters lobby for return of Tory Government
Jesus was English insists Yaxley Lennon
Labours fault Tories closed or sold 219 Courts says Badenoch
Proposed ID cards to clearly specify, Royal, Lord, Peasant or Andrew
World laughs as Britain hands out it's Empire medals
Walter Eagle
Sinatra upset Muslim leader: Golden Frank incensed Emir
writingbsl
1st century Strep evidence: 4 Hoarsemen of the Apocalypse
Chinese return UK gvt data: too inaccurate
