Christmas Cracker Jokes 2: The Leftovers

Christmas is the season of excess, and not knowing where to stop. Which is where we got the idea for another round of Christmas cracker jokes.

Here are the almost-indigestible leftovers that we have re-heated for you...

Q. What is Donald Trump's favourite element?

A. MAGAnesium

Q. What is moles favourite game at primary school?

A. Grounders

Q. Why did the England cricket team send a snowman in to bat against Australia?

A. They thought he'd last longer than one of the regular team

Q. What do you call a crash involving a truck load of terrapins in Northumberland?

A. Turtle distastah (got to do the accent)

Q. Where do you send an addicted lumberjack?

A. Treehab

Q. Which fish knows nothing about transport?

A. The Grayling

Q. What do you call a shy fish?

A. Koi

Q. Which fish had a Christmas number one?

A. Kylie Minnow

Q. What's crisp and sweet and swings through the jungle?

A. A meringue-utan

Q. What's Hugh Jackman's favourite Christmas film?

A. The Greatest Snowman

Q. What's Birmingham's favourite panto?

A. Jack and the binstrike

Q. What paper are dunce's caps made from?

A. Foolscap

Q. Can you name the five Louvre jewel thieves?

A. Rob, Joules, Nick, Jems and Rich.

Q. What is Santa's favourite weather?

A. Rain, dear.

Q. What's Angela Rayner's favourite Christmas film?

A. Home Aloan 2

With contributions from billclay and writinginbsl

Image credit: perchance.org