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It has come to light that a gang of people smugglers have an audacious plan to up their game.


"This is a win-win," said a burly man, festooned with bling and sporting a Breitling watch.

"No more unseaworthy dinghies for the 'customers'. A relatively safe crossing ... assuming the crew are capable.

We get to shift 'cargo' in bulk, and P&O generate some income".

This will require a master of logistics to run the operation. Who do they have in mind?


 "We understand that there's an English chap called Chris Grayling?"



First published 17 April 2022



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The worst 'look at me and what I did' book of the year awards have been held in the burnt out shell which was once your nearest hospital. Here are the unreadable straight-to-pulp car crashes government ministers shat out instead of attempting to run a country.



Liz Truss - The Tip of The Iceberg Lettuces


Chris Whatsmename - Fifty Shades of Grayling


Rishi Sunak - The Big Short Trousers (featuring Rishi Longstockings)


David Cameron - First Past the Hogroast


Boris Johnson - Identitty


Michael Gove - Lord Nose (A Snort Story)


Jeremy H Unt - The English Patients Still Waiting (reprinted by the Foodbank of England)


Suella Braverman - A Wish Called Rwanda


Priti Patel - Catch 22 (Asylum Seekers)


Theresa May - Wheatfield of Dreams


Grant Shapps - Me, Myself and Corinne Stockheath (ghost written by Sebastian Fox, forward by Michael Green)


Jacob Rees-Mogg - Stranger Offshores (Eton, Pray, Gov)


Nadine Dorries - Murder in the Deviant Express


Nadim Zahawi - Yougov in the Time of Cholera (HMRC £3 million tax evasion prosecution still pending)


Kwasi Kwarteng - The Day of the Jack All


Penny Mordaunt - The Thatcher in the Eye


Dominic Raab - The Romanians of the Daaaaaay


Thérèse Coffey - War and Piss


Matt Hancock - The Wrong Kiss Goodnight




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