Govt. to crack down on tax-evading Christmas freebies

The government has decided that this year, tax inspectors will follow Santa Claus and assess the value each present delivered before imposing appropriate VAT and import duty on it.  The inspectors will also measure the distance covered by Santa's sleigh and calculate the mileage charge payable.

This is before visiting Santa's workshop and checking the elves' timesheets and wage slips before imposing the correct employer's NI and pension contributions.  Officials will also check the working conditions (including working hours, workplace temperatures, hygiene conditions and health-and-safety situation), imposing appropriate fines and other financial penalties where there are any deficiencies.

Amazon are reported to be considering making a bid for the takeover of the entire Santa Claus enterprise, after the CEO, Mr Claus, was overheard saying 'Oh, bollosck to all this.  I may as well not exist!'

(A merry Christmas to all our readers.  Ho ho flippin' ho.)

Image: geralt - Pixabay

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