Santa refuses to break picket-lines

With postal staff going on strike, many good boys and girls expected Father Christmas to ignore picket-lines, by sneaking down the chimney. However, Santa has insisted that he would be respecting the workers’ wish list of having a living wage and a small satsuma.

Speaking from a unionized toy shop, one shop steward elf explained: ‘Here at the North Pole we have some of the best working conditions – including free-elf care and sugar cane dental treatment. We work a two-week period but have the rest of the year off, thanks to collective bargaining and Xmas only lasting one day. And at lunch, we get all the reindeer meat we can eat – oops, I shouldn’t have mentioned that last part’.

Said Santa: ‘I may be a mythical being but I’m not a scab’.

Image: ROverhate | Pixabay

Concerns raised for Christmas as reindeer insist they will work to rule

Nominations for House of Lords to include the Mouth of Sauron

As always, the list includes the absolute dregs of humanity and half the cast Gremlins. If there was roll call of morons, this is it. It should be noted, in 2020 House of Lords beat Mos Eisley to the title of most ‘Wretched Hive of Scum and Villainy’ for the tenth time.

The nominations will be confirmed once HR has received their character references from Beelzebub. Meanwhile Santa is said to be angry that his Naughty List has been plagiarized.

Said the Mouth: ‘After a lifetime of evil doing, I’m just glad to be spoken of in the same sentence of Paul Dacre. I may be the Mouth of Sauron but he is surely the Anus of Hell.'

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photo: https://pixabay.com/users/makyfoto-448289/