Avatar is a 4-hour opportunity to get to third-base
- Wrenfoe
- 1 hour ago
- 1 min read
The vast numbers of people going to a movie that no one asked for has been attributed to horny couples looking for discreet canoodling. Said one flustered teenager: "Normally I only get a couple of kisses an hour, but this film is so long I managed to impregnate the whole front row."
A billion-pound franchise with no discernible qualities, Avatar has been responsible for more unwelcome pregnancies than Boris Johnson at Guide Camp. Outside, as one moviegoer put on her bra, we asked her what she thought the film was about. "Smurfs in FernGully? The Blue Man Group meets Pocahontas? Whatever it was, it had loads of sex in it."
Asked if he wanted a fourth Avatar movie, one man said: "No. As much as I love the films, I just can't afford the child maintenance payments."