Trump begins devouring own children
- Danny Soz
- 24 minutes ago
- 1 min read
In a surprise move, US President Donald Trump has begun devouring his own children after learning from his Greek Myths and Legends colouring-in book, that the ancient Greek Titan, Kronos, did the same thing to avoid being killed and overthrown by one of his kids.
In a bid to remain top banana at The White House, it is believed that Trump has already devoured his youngest child, Barron, eating him raw, and has made a start on daughter, Ivanka.
His other daughter, Tiffany, was allegedly liberally coated with a hot dog, chilli relish, and had a few bites taken out of her after Trump woke in the night feeling peckish, while his sons, Eric and Donald Jr., have been marinating for a few days in a cauldron of piri-piri sauce to mask any unpleasant taste.
Wife, Melania, has told friends that while she’s not impressed with her husband’s behaviour, she does not feel personally threatened by him in any way.
‘I haven’t let that fat fuck get near me for years, ’ she reportedly confided.