The Trump Truth Book of Wars I Totally Would Have Won
- Jeremynh
- 6 days ago
- 1 min read
At Custer's Last Stand, General Custer was totally surrounded. Surrounded like you'd never believe. He still could have won if he had been me - a very stable military genius. But he was a total loser and a libtard traitor for being defeated by the Sioux and he deserved to die.
Personally, I would have Sioux-ed them for all they were worth.
I could have won the Vietnam War but they didn't let me serve. I would have become a totally victorious general, but they said to me: "Sir, Sir, you have to stay at home with the 101st Bonespur Standbacks and not die in the jungle because America needs you to stay alive and start a load of failing businesses like Atlantic City casinos and Trump Airlines and repeatedly go bankrupt."
Otherwise, we would have won bigly in Vietnam like you'd never believe.
In the Second Gulf War we won so quickly that you'd never believe it and President Bush Junior - who was so smart and not dumb at all - landed on an aircraft carrier and announced: "Mission Accomplished".
But then we started losing, and that's because he didn't say often enough that we had won - unlike me, who's said it an incredible 37 times during my excursion to Iran.
That's why he lost in Iraq and why I'm winning more and more in Iran. You only win if you keep on saying you've won and call everything different fake news.
And all that's true, folks. It's so true that you'd never believe it.
