UK Security Vetting 'unsurprised' Mandelson failed vetting

'Quite honestly, we don't know what the furore is all about,' said a spokesman for the government agency. 

'People, usually politicians but sometimes the offspring of KGB officers, are nominated for vetting all the time.  They always fail, it's always ignored,' he said, pointing out that practically every Conservative politician promoted to a sensitive role in the last fourteen years of Conservative government had an impression of being a 'tax dodging,  law breaking, corrupt piece of sh!t.  And that was the good ones, there was also Johnson, Jenrick and Zahawi who collectively bent the concept of being incorruptible to face the opposite direction, he added.

'To be honest, if we ever passed anyone, we'd assume they were a Russian plant, so would fail them too'.