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Southerners set to receive clogs and whippets


Southerners have been horrified to discover that Andy Burnham's 'Northernification' of the UK will include them being forced to wear clogs and breed whippets.


Speaking outside Number 10 Downing Street, Ardwick, M17, the latest Prime Minister told reporters, 'Cappuccinos and lattes are to be replaced with builders' tea and 'foreign muck' is to be replaced by pies.'


London's women over-40 have already been earmarked to receive shawls and clay pipes and the NHS is to remove three of their front teeth completely free over the next 12 months.


Pubs south of Watford will be prevented from selling shandy and lager will be phased out, to be replaced by pints of something dark brown and sticky with bits in it.


Image: WixAI



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