top of page
Search

Keir Starmer, the invisible leader

ree

A new study by the Institute for Political Awareness reveals that most UK citizens don’t know who the Prime Minister is. When asked directly, 87% of respondents either shrugged, Googled it, or named someone from Strictly Come Dancing.


Since winning the 2024 general election, Starmer has largely governed in peace — mostly because the public isn’t watching – but also because he has mastered the skill of invisible leadership. 


We showed a photo of Starmer to some people in the street, to see what reaction we got.


‘He’s sort of… President of the UK,’ said 23-year-old Aaliyah, ‘but I haven’t heard him do anything lately. Has he been cancelled?’


Other respondents asked if Rishi Sunak was still PM, and if Boris Johnson was coming back.


And someone insisted ‘that lettuce’ was still in charge.



Story credit: wurstcasenews

Picture credit: perchance AI


Sue Gray concludes: It's not a party without a conga line



ree


The investigation proved that it was impossible to have a party without streamers and at least one girl crying on a staircase, mumbling something about all men are bastards. 'The gatherings that the PM and Keir Starmer attended were in no way parties. Mainly because no self respecting party would invite those two.


'For it to be considered a halfway decent party, there needs to be jelly and tequila shots. No one sung 'My Way'. And not one person chundered in the Downing Street shrubbery.


'The only feature that this has in common with a normal party, is that no one can remember any of the details'.



First published 25 May 2022



If you enjoyed this archive item, why not buy thousands of archive stories found in our eBooks, paperbacks and hardbacks?






ree


ree


ree


ree


Cake to become next PM


ree

The birthday cake that Boris Johnson was given in June 2020 is tipped to be Britain's next Prime Minister, according to Downing Street insiders today.


Speaking from behind the bike sheds at no 10 and furtively sipping a glass of tap water, an aide said "the Party is looking for something bright, relatable and that everyone would fancy a bit of. The cake stands out way ahead of the other contenders, especially when it's candles are lit. Admittedly, it's a bit stale, the cream filling has gone off a bit by now and the whole thing will probably need to go in the bin soon, but then.. excuse me - hello Prime Minster! Yes of course it's vodka."


However, there is no guarantee that Britain can look forward to a sweet sponge-based government, as it's understood that the cake has also had a lucrative offer from the BBC to be its new chief political reporter, based on its skill in ambushing politicians.



First published 27 Jun 2022



If you enjoyed this archive item, why not buy thousands of archive stories found in our eBooks, paperbacks and hardbacks?






ree


ree


ree


ree





bottom of page