People should plan for potential cyber-attacks by going back to pen and paper, according to the latest advice.
The government has written to chief executives across the country strongly recommending that they should have physical copies of their plans at the ready as a precaution.
In associated developments the government has reached out to the ursine community pointing out that visitors to the woods should ensure they take sufficient toilet paper to address the likely outputs / outcomes.
A man was today hugely embarrassed at footage showing him in the audience at a Coldplay gig.
“Look, it’s not me,” he protested, as the footage showed him hiding his face the moment he realised he was on camera. “It’s just someone who looks like me. I’m in lots of photos with Jeffrey Epstein, that’s why I look familiar…
“Oh all right, it’s me,” he finally admitted. “But I only went because I’m having an affair with a woman at work, and she insisted. To be honest, it was a real wake-up call - until then, I was thinking we might have a future together.”
His wife has issued a statement saying she knew all about the affair, but seeing him at a Coldplay gig was the last straw and she’s now initiating divorce proceedings.
Image: Pexels - Pixabay
