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Accusations of misconduct by co-owner, David Sullivan, has created horrendous double meanings for the team. 'I'm forever blowing bubbles' is less of a chant, more of a witness statement. Despite denials, Sullivan's claret and blue handsy armsy is cause of much gossip. Claimed one season ticket holder, "The Championship will be as a difficult to get out as a Sullivan clinch."


Loyal fans still yell, 'Come on you Irons!', while his lawyer quickly countered, 'Come on who? My client denies everything'. Normally the chant 'Sit down if you hate Tottenham' gets the whole stadium rooted to their seats, now there is a similar effect when any police officer asks them to stand up if you think Sullivan is innocent. Said one witness, 'The only tackle I should have to see, is the one on the pitch.'


Adam and Eve, the current heads of the Garden of Eden shortly, will take over on 1 September and The Serpent will be cursed to crawl on its belly as executive chairman.


The Serpent will stay as chief executive through the summer to work with Adam and Eve on the transition from nudity, to being fully clothed. After that it will "assist with certain aspects such as banishment from the garden, introducing death and manual labour".


This follows months of speculation that the Apple comes from the Tree of Knowledge, and eating it would make Adam and Eve "like God," knowing good and evil.


The Serpent described having the Apple as "the greatest privilege of my life" and during his tenure he led the fruit to become one of the most valuable in the world.


It described Eve as a "visionary", adding "Eve is without question the right person to take the Apple lead humanity into the future".


'I am filled with optimism about what we can achieve in the years to come,' Adam said.


'I am very thankful for everything the Serpent has done and I am very thankful for the Apple.'


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