Man City will be forced to play absolute garbage going forward, the Premier League has confirmed today.
After being found guilty of 115 financial rules breaches, The Premier League has been considering possible punishments for the club.
'Financial penalties, expulsion from the Premier League, yes, these were options on the table', said one Premier League insider.
'But we've decided that City will just be forced to play absolutely rubbish football, like what they did for most of the time before the Abu Dhabi investment years'.
'It's like a kind of restorative practice thing', continued the insider, 'where the club gets the chance to reflect on how they can make things right.'
'In City's case this will involve Haaland, Cherki, Anderson, Foden, Fernandez and others leaving immediately , to be replaced by a selection of the club's worst ever signings. So, we're delighted to introduce you to City's next starting 11, including Roque Santa Cruz, Laurent Charvet, Jo, Eliaquim Mangala and Vicente Matias Vuoso. '
A consortium of the worst City managers, notably Joe Royle, Phil Neal and Frank Clark will also retake the helm at the club, for a period of at least the next decade.
'We were also thinking about significant points deductions' noted the Premier League insider. 'But with this line-up, we don't think points will be an issue at all'.
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