Charles III going straight to cable

Expectations are low for the sequel to the sequel of Charles. The Newsbiscuit Culture Editor explains: “Look, Charles 1 was your classic, ballsy action movie, plenty of war scenes and an ending like Brave Heart. Definitely one to please the crowds, or at least anyone not dead by the end of it.

Charles 2 was not quite as ambitious plot-wise but defied the usual problem of sequels being a let-down, by adding a strong romantic aspect. I mean Chuck 2 had it Going On… was it 12 illegitimate kids by the curtain? Most viewers gave up counting half way through.

So what can Charles 3 bring to this franchise? At this stage, none of the above. It’s going to have to be something completely different. A man with three buttocks? He’s got some big underpants to fill.”

image from pixabay

Schrodinger's Queen is both dead and alive

Rumours persist that the death of the Monarch is being concealed - at least until the next slow news day. These whispers have been exasperated by sightings of Prince Charles, laughing maniacally in a new frock.

The press has noted panic buying of black armbands and corgi shaped floral bouquets. The Prime Minister, himself, is said to have already block-booked all available slots of 'two minutes of silence.'

A palace spokeswoman confirmed: 'The Queen was seen alive and well at a local Pizza Express.'

https://pixabay.com/photos/board-mathematics-school-to-learn-4855963/

Secret film emerges of Prince Charles rehearsing Coronation ceremony

Video, taken from a hidden camera on the Prince of Wales’s Highgrove estate, has emerged, seemingly showing the heir to the throne taking part in a mock Coronation ceremony.

He is surrounded by flunkeys wearing masks of the world leaders, and one wearing what appears to be a tea cosy on his head playing the Archbishop of Canterbury.

While Charles regally processes up and down the garden path, Camilla can be seen practising a Royal wave or two.

A spokeslackey commented, “His Royal Highness feels with covid rampant, and the very, very elderly still vulnerable, he needs to be prepared for any and every eventuality. Mind you; he has been doing this every week for the past twenty years now.”

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