top of page
ree

US Democrats have declared July 31st 'International Chicken Day'. The day is already National Avocado Day and National Chilli Dog Day - so what's with the chicken?


Democrats are, of course, just trying to score political points. They expect July 31st to be the day that Donald Trump chickens out of imposing tariffs - again!


Donald has been threatening tariffs since forever. He's imposed a few, changed a few, lifted a few - a general tariff hokey-cokey in fact. But he keeps chickening out on imposing most tariffs, claiming that countries are super keen to agree trade deals. Yeah. Right.


Will the suggestion that Trump Always Chickens Out be correct again? Probably. The President is widely expected to give most nations another 20/40/50/90 days to do a deal. Because, so far, the USA has concluded no significant trade deals at all (sorry, Britain - not significant).


So we will probably all be celebrating on July 31st with avocados (not Mexican, obviously), chilli dogs...and another massive helping of chicken.



Picture credit: Wix AI

A spokesbird for the American Chicken Alliance has excoriated Washington Post owner Jeff Bezos’ ‘pathetic cowardice’ for his decision, apparently under pressure from Donald Trump, to spike the paper’s endorsement of Kamala Harris for president. ‘Comical cravenness is our brand, not yours!’ clucked Henny Penny on her weekly podcast. ‘Stay in your lane, Bezos!’


Penny’s statement came as no surprise to Alfred Newman, Professor of Poultry Politics at King’s College, London. ‘Chickens are very conscious of having cornered the market on groundless panic,’ Newman said. ‘In their view, Bezos’ hysterical fright is kind of like trademark infringement.’


More puzzling is why Bezos, owner of Amazon, caved in the first place. ‘Christ, he could lose $7 billion in his couch and not miss it,’ Penny clucked. ‘If he’s not going to stand up to that big orange man-turd, who the hell will?’


Consistent with its recent practice, the American Chicken Alliance has not officially endorsed a presidential candidate, but Trump’s ravenous appetite for chicken nuggets is well known in the community. The organization has set up ‘Eet mor Bief’ booths at Harris campaign events, but the initiative has yet to take flight with the public.




bottom of page