Following the success of Diet Coke and Coke Zero, the company is set to launch it's most "radical" product yet: Coke Water.
"Zero has no sugar or caffeine, it's basically carbonated water with flavouring" explained Juliette Brzcynski, VP Futility (Western Hemisphere). "So we thought we could go further and remove the flavouring and carbonation for a truly innovative take on the world's favourite drink. By which I mean coke."
Coke Water retails at £2.59/litre, slightly more than original coke "as it's a premium product". It features the "iconic" logo, but this time in white on blue, and some bottles will sport the first names of characters from Charles Kingsley's classic novel The Water Babies.
And while spokespeople were quick to deny rumours that the company was planning to sell the contents of its factory urinals as Coke Piss, this is not the end of Coke innovation. "I'm not supposed to tell you this" said Ms Brzcynski, lying, "but soon we'll be unveiling an even more premium offer that will truly disrupt the market. Coke Empty."
- Chipchase
- Dec 14, 2024
Beverage giant, Coca Cola, has been slammed by a hapless Hertfordshire small businessman over a UK version of its Christmas advert featuring a convoy of twenty-five articulated lorries making a seasonal delivery of its iconic brand.
Trevor Oldroyd, owner of Trev's Minimarket in Watford said: 'It was lovely at first when I was chosen for the new ad. When the film crew set up all the Christmas lights and decorations outside the shop it looked really fantastic.
’Especially when the the snow machine was switched on, but when the choir started singing "holidays are coming, holidays are coming" and those lorries arrived and offloaded four hundred pallets of Coke it was total chaos. The cops had to close the road, and the council shut down my shop.
'I've now been issued with a summons for causing an illegal obstruction and breach of the peace. The cost of it all is going to put me out of business. Merry Christmas, Coca Cola? Merry Christmas my fucking arse.'
Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash