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Yorkshire explorer mounts expedition to the source of the M1


"They say up here that it can't be found," said Harold Parkinson-Truman, a retired VAT inspector from Wakefield, packing up a hi-viz vest, some Kendal mint cake and a postcard of Tower Bridge to help when asking directions.


"But I've lived along the M1 all my life. I've seen it in its rush hours and when it's fogbound, and I'm going to devote my autumn years to finding the fabled source of it - way down at Junction 1 in that London."


Consoling his weeping wife and ferret, Harold continued: "They don't want me to go down south and start taking on their ways, like attending the opera at Glynebourne and supporting Chelsea. But I've been told tales of the wonderful exotic food they have in ChoZen Noodle at London Gateway services. The allure's too great to resist.


"They say that once a coachload of football supporters from Barnsley set off down the M1 to try and watch an FA Cup tie against Leyton Orient, but the authorities turned them back at the Watford Gap.


"My plan is to sneak into the Home Counties by nipping through the fields somewhere around Daventry. Then I'll pitch camp at Watford for the final leg down to Brent Cross.


"I hope the local tribesmen are friendly."


"We're not," a spokes-tribesman for Brent visitors' centre said gruffly, when told of Harold's expedition.


Asked if he had any tips for the intrepid explorer to north-west London, the tourist official answered simply: "Wear a stab proof vest."



Victims of romance scams better off, say accountants


DI Dave Hanson investigates romance scams for the National Crime Agency. ‘It’s a pretty unpleasant crime’, he told NewsBiscuit. ‘Typically a victim will fall for an AI-generated image and a hard luck story and soon they’re sending thousands of pounds abroad to help the “love of their life” relocate to the UK – except the person doesn’t exist.


‘It’s humiliating for the victim and we never catch anybody because they’re abroad and they’ve got computers. You can’t expect us to compete with that. So we’ve shifted emphasis towards making victims feel better. Our analysis shows that most scams cost between £7k and £12k, whereas an average wedding these days is £25k and that’s before you weigh up birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries etc. If anything, we should be thanking the scammers. So I’ve nominated the most prolific romance scam group for a King’s Award for Industry. It’ll be interesting to see if they turn up to collect the medal.’




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