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Nurses pay rise accidentally went to Nadhim Zahawi


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The ex-Chancellor insisted he was not guilty of dodging millions in tax, but said the money had instead come from the public sector wages. An aide commented: 'If you add up the 10% owed to everyone, it just about covers what Mr. Zahawi spends on horse feed.'


Meanwhile the nurses have been given all of Mr.Zahawi's bills in error. Said one confused nurse: 'I was expecting at least 7%, but all I got was an invoice for a gold-plated swimming pool.'


Mr. Zahawi said he would be giving back the money as soon as he could find the missing millions - among the rest of his loose change.



UK economy avoids recession due to glossy video.


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The Office for National Statistics reported that the UK economy narrowly avoided recession in October and November of 2022 due to the injection of hundreds of millions of pounds from an unnamed source of private capital.


The money went into the video production industry as well as the targeted advertising sector, and it formed an unusually large movement of international funds at the end of the year.


This boost occurred in what was otherwise a period of financial caution, caused by the turmoil of the Truss premiership.


Rishi Sunak was unavailable for comment, although he did release a glossy video.



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