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    • Modelmaker
      • May 16
      • 0 min read

    North Korea just like the west



    • Cartoons
    56 views0 comments
    • helenrushworth
      • Mar 10
      • 1 min read

    Government Facing Growing Backlash from Homeowners Forced to Live with Covid




    The PM is facing mounting resentment after forcing citizens into co-habitation with Covid.


    It comes weeks after a dramatic government U-Turn. All previous policy mandated staying well away from the disease and to follow dramatic and usually illogical rules to keep it out of the home. However, new policy requires anyone not medically exempt to ‘start living with Covid.’


    ‘We follow government advice to the letter, but welcoming Covid into the very heart of our family is just too much', said Stephen Jarvis, Seaham U13s Chess Champion, 1984. 'It's a destructive houseguest, and it just sort of hovers around the house, lingering annoyingly in the air'.


    Miriam Caltrop of Henor was equally disappointed. ‘At first we were excited. We thought that inviting Covid into our homes was a small price to pay for everything getting back to normal,’


    ‘But then things turned sour, (especially food and smells). Covid became clingy and wouldn’t let us leave the house. They didn’t help with the chores or pay bills, which became problematic as we couldn’t go to work.


    'And this is against a background fear that they may suddenly turn on you and maliciously murder you in your sleep. By the end, we were left feeling exhausted and drained and wishing they would just go.’


    Homeowner associations are arguing that spare rooms could be better used to welcome foster children or refugees. However, the government reiterated that Covid was now the public’s responsibility and until they could rehome it humanely, there simply wasn’t room for other more deserving guests.


    Image: Pixabay/BlenderTimer

    • News in Brief
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    • Lifestyle
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    • Throngsman
      • Feb 19
      • 1 min read

    Government denies cost cutting as it launches Pre-Loved lateral flow kits and PPE


    The government's 'living with covid' strategy has hit resistance as the public are being asked to re-use lateral flow kits or return them to health centres for reissue. 'Of course we're going to lick the swabs clean before we re-issue them,' said a government spokesperson today, 'and who hasn't borrowed a friend's face mask? eh? Of course you have,' he said before adding, 'oh, you haven't? Aren't you la-de-da, I bet you've had one of those PPE contracts and feel you can afford anything, don't you?'


    image from pixabay

    • News in Brief
    61 views0 comments
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