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King's portrait is cheaper than a new dartboard

At the cost of £8m, public buildings can request a copy of the picture to cover up any embarrassing stains or cut out a draft. The most popular use has been as something to scare the kids with.


One publican said: 'Once we'd finished with it as a dartboard, we used the perforated remains as a sieve.' Those who like gardening can use the monarch to repair a fence panel, become a bird box or kindling.


Remarked one loyal subject: 'It's about respecting the institution - which is why I have fifty eight Queen Elizabeths boarding my loft.'


image from pixabay

Luke Littler reveals secret to his darts success



Sixteen-year-old darts sensation Luke Littler has revealed the secret behind his sensational series of victories in the international darts championships.


"I knew I was in with a chance when I saw they were doing two-for-one deals on Jagerbombs at the bar in Alexandra Palace," he told reporters.


"Being 16, I've never drunk anything stronger than Vimto in my life and consequently I'm able to focus on the board when I throw.


"My opponents, on the other hand, have spent half their lives in pubs and blearily chuck their darts in the general direction of the target simply to while away the time between necking pints and downing doubles. They went for the bargain Jagerbombs like bears to honey.


"So at the Delirium Tremens Championships, I found myself winning Leg One, then Leg Two, and then Legs Three, Four, Five and Six... mainly because my opponents were all completely legless."




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