As riderless horses roamed the streets of central London, the Government accused the 'woke elite' of getting a little heavy-handed with their metaphors.
Tory intern Henry Hootington-Hurst said 'Is it the end of days or just a guerrilla marketing campaign for Lloyds Bank?'
'I looked, and behold, a pale horse. And the rider's name was Nigel Farage. What else? Boris Johnson is humping things and chanting in Latin - nothing new there. Michael Gove has assumed his reptilian form and is hissing at everyone he's double crossed - so that's everyone. Nadine Dorries is doing readings from her latest book - whilst speaking in tongues. All fairly standard stuff.'
'War, Famine, Pestilence and Death... they are simply four key Tory promises.'
image from pixabay
- Wrenfoe
- Apr 13, 2024
Despite footage that placed him at the scene of his own demise, a jury has ruled that he could not have fitted into the tiny coffin he was said to wear. His lawyer remarked: 'My client is accused of being deceased on the flimsiest of evidence. Just because he's not breathing and is starting to stink, is no indication of intent. He's probably just sleeping or in a stiffened state.'
DNA results suggested an exact match between the body of OJ Simpson and the alive version of OJ Simpson. His driver's license bares a startlingly resemblance to the corpse. Even family members identified the body, although police say his ex-wife was unavailable for comment.
'At this time, my client just wants the press to respect his privacy to grieve and decompose quietly.'