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    • Lockjaw
      • Jan 17
      • 0 min read

    Jerkovic deported



    • Cartoons
    63 views0 comments
    • Oshaughnessy
      • Jan 12
      • 1 min read

    Djokovic attended Downing Street lockdown party claim witnesses



    The worlds much-loved number one tennis bellend is said to be amongst 370 people who attended the event in May 2020. The claim increases pressure on the worlds much-loved number one prime ministerial bellend. Mr Johnson says he can’t recall anything, can’t spell the word ‘party’ in any case, and strenuously denies even knowing who Djokovic is.


    “Ah…um...well…jolly tricky all this. I did remember being introduced to some sporting chappie, but frankly, they all look the same after a couple of bottles of vintage Dom Perignon.’


    A Downing Street spokesman denied that any rules had been broken apart from the ones that were: ‘There’s nothing in the rules to say that Mr Djokovic, who wasn’t here, by the way, cannot play tennis with senior cabinet ministers, who also weren’t here. There is also no truth in the spurious rumours that Prince Andrew, who didn't attend, served canapes, or that Melania Trump, who also wasn’t here, was fired out of a canon. Mind you, it was pretty bloody spectacular, even though no one was here and nothing happened.’


    Image:Pixabay/blende12









    Johnson denies government held illegal raves during first lockdown

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    Many households now depend on free newspapers to stay warm


    • News in Brief
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    • Sport/Entertainment
    339 views0 comments
    • Wrenfoe
      • Jan 11
      • 1 min read

    Djokovic is seen clicking his heels together & repeatedly saying 'There's no place like home'



    Walking in the Media Blizzard of Oz, the embattled tennis player has become the poster boy for anti-vaccination – which makes a change from that Athena tennis girl scratching her butt.



    A Judge has ruled whether he should have been in or out of the country, although it is still be referred to a Line Judge. In the meantime, Novak Djokovi will play in the Australian Open, while Covid will be left to play around in the crowd.



    His assistant said: ‘We're not in Kansas anymore – although in Kansas they’d still insist on a vaccination’.


    Image: Pixabay/hansmarkutt









    ​Man declares 2022 already worse than 2021 after jamming swab test up left nostril

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    Boris Johnson off to see the Wizard of Oz, with Jacob Rees-Mogg and Dominic Raab


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    • Politics
    80 views0 comments
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