The global outpouring of love and respect for Dolly Parton has confused many statesmen. Donald Trump has asked aides whether people will say similar things about him when he passes. He’s still waiting for an answer. It's getting tense now.
Kim Jong Un felt a natural affinity with the diminutive character with unbelievable hair, but continues to search for her instruments of intimidation. How else can you achieve popularity?
Vladimir Putin has ordered an investigation into the Nashville Intelligence Agency’s obvious psy-ops activities, praising the skilful use of a fictional character and advanced disinformation techniques.
NewsBiscuit can reassure world leaders: when your time comes, the line will be even longer than it was for Dolly Parton. And where you’re going, the gallons of piss will vaporise instantly.
image by Grok
Why not join our WhatsApp channel, NewsBiscuit Daily Posts? You can access the latest output from NewsBiscuit and share posts easily with friends, family and colleagues using WhatsApp. Get some biscuits in your pocket (sorry about the crumbs, though) by clicking here.
