Naturists claim Chinese cookery class ban is 'wokism' after being told to put some clothes on.

An elderly naturist couple have brought their local adult education college to a tribunal citing discrimination after they were barred from attending a Chinese cookery class unless they agreed to wear clothing.

Brian Buff, 86, and his wife Sheila, 84, say they were "humiliated" when the tutor explained that students were expected to wear aprons and sensible clothing when cooking with woks full of boiling oil.

'We're victims of naked prejudice,' said Brian. 'People hear the word "naturist" and immediately assume we're going to end up with third-degree burns to our tackle.'

"Well...," replied tutor Angela Roberts, "yes."

The couple went on to insist they have been preparing food while naked for decades without incident

'That's because you've mainly been making fishpaste and beetroot sandwiches,' said Roberts, before the chair of the committee adjourned the hearing for the weekend.

The case continues next week.

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A level Mathematics paper leaked on line

June 2026, Queston 1

The probability that the government retrospectively changes the student loan scheme in a way unfavourable to students is determined, from historic data, to be p=0.2 in any given year.

The probability of an unfavourable change in any year is independent from all previous years.

A newly qualified student has 40 years to repay their student loan before it is written off.

Calculate:

(a) The expected number of unfavourable changes to student loan repayment terms in the next 40 years. Show your workings . Expletives should be written in pencil and crossed through. [ 4 marks ]

(b) The probability that students will vote for any of the political parties involved in stitching them up. [ 1 mark ]

(c) The probability that graduates will avoid promotions or reduce their working hours or go sick and claim benefits in order to reduce or avoid their student loan repayments [ 1 mark ]

(d) Companies employing new graduates have not been offering to repay student debt. What is the probability that this situation will improve in the next 3 years? Explain your answer. [ 2 marks ]

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Academy schools sponsored by Organised Crime groups

The Department for Education has discovered that at least six Academy schools are sponsored by companies that are believed to be fronts for organised crime gangs.

Supply teachers and ‘careers advisors’ single out vulnerable students for work experience in illegal gambling, gun running, drug distribution and prostitution.  Students who do well are rewarded with doubles who take their exams for them, and may finish school with better qualifications than their peers – on paper at least.  Exceptional students may also have their driving tests taken for them, and in some cases get to go on all-expenses-paid school trips to Colombia or Mexico.

‘Our suspicions were aroused by some excellent academic achievements at Academy schools in deprived areas,’ said a spokesman, who wanted to remain anonymous. 'And these schools also had excellent results in getting students into jobs.

‘We had asked our experts were looking for examples of high performing schools, so that they could identify best practice and share it with other schools.  Unfortunately, one after another, these experts disappeared and have not been heard of since.  We are particularly concerned about one professional who was reviewing some excellent performance in Building and Construction exams.  When we tried to track him down, the school told us that there was no concrete evidence that he’d been abducted. and that our fears were ‘without foundation’.

The Department is currently considering whether to close down the schools that are involved, or – given the excellent exam results– to roll out the model more widely.

image from Google Gemini