top of page
Search

Trillionaires' Shortbread maker goes into receivership


It was a classic case of 'spot the gap in the market'. Two entrepreneurs from San Jose built a business making Trillionaires' Shortbread to satisfy the tastes of people like Elon Musk and, er, Elon Musk.


'People like Elon shouldn't have to put up with mere Billionaires' Shortbread', one of the identical whizzkids said. 'You might as well serve him Millionaires' Shortbread or Middle Management Shortbread. The notion!'


Musk's trillionairedom was so short lived that the pair didn't sell a single bar and have had to tell their backers that their money has vanished. On the plus side this creates a new market for Recently Impoverished Shortbread which is just a plain biscuit.


No pedants were harmed in the making of this story.


image from Grok


Why not join our WhatsApp channel, NewsBiscuit Daily Posts? You can access the latest output from NewsBiscuit and share posts easily with friends, family and colleagues using WhatsApp. Get some biscuits in your pocket (sorry about the crumbs, though) by clicking here.


Elon Musk predicted to become a multi-trillionaire after launching sex robot business


Sociologists are concerned that human relationships may soon become obsolete after Elon Musk decided to ditch Tesla cars as a significant source of innovative entrepreneurial ambition; and concentrate his attention on developing AI sex dolls.


Unveiling Aphrodite X1 at the Las Vegas Pseudo-Onanist Convention, he promised his new, ultra-realistic AI sex doll would fulfil every man’s fantasy partner; and can be programmed to engage in every perversion mentioned on the Interweb, even those that Putin has footage of Donald Trump getting up to.


In an interview with Newsbiscuit, he told us that Aphrodite X1 was just the start of what was possible; and like the Tesla model 3, was designed to give plebs ambitions to own one of the more expensive models.


When asked if he had plans to extend his range to sex dolls that women would want, he said “Certainly, but our AI is taking a lot longer to find out what that is. I’ve told the boffins to get the AI to read more of Andrew Tate’s comments, to see if we can speed things up.”


Our interview ended with an expectation that before he launches the ‘For women’ AI sex toy, he will bring out the ‘Capitalist Bastard Dream Doll’ an underage, AI sex doll, which can be leased for a night, then be refurbished with a brand new hymen.




bottom of page