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Musk Introduces Writerless Tweets


In future, subscribers to Twitter will no longer have to compose their own posts. Simply log on, and the medium will automatically write and post your tweet for you.


But what if the tweet is not what I think?


Don't worry, AutoTwitter will tell you what to think.


I'm not sure I like the idea of that.


Look, AutoTwitter will tell you whether you like it or not, OK?


No! I don't.


*Posted*:

YES..I..THINK..THIS..IS..A..REALLY..GOOD..IDEA..!



First published 29 April 2022


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Elon Musk buys #EveFartlow for $44bn


Seth Rogan, who has a 50% stake in the tweet, will split the proceeds with the 3 year old who originally came up with the pun. Mr. Musk has said he will also make a similar bid for the Rooney/Vardy spat and $0.37 for Ed Balls Day.


His accountant explained: 'Elon is purchasing iconic Twitter moments, which is pretty much anything involving Kim Kardashian and clickbait of cheerleaders. $44bn is a bargain if it means Elon can take Covfefe home with him'.


Image from Pixabay by s7akti



First published 28 April 2022


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Twitter launches bid to buy Elon Musk



The owners of online pub car park, Twitter, have taken a break from egging on fights between punters to launch a whip round to buy celebrity entrepreneur Elon Musk, to add to their collection of freakshow exhibits.


Twitter's Board of Directors announced yesterday that they had raised $132bn from the tips jar and the condom machine in the gents, which should be enough to buy most of his body and remaining hair, but leaving out his genitals, nostrils and brain 'for obvious reasons'. They say this amounts to 'a controlling 71% stake in Mr Musk', although whether they intend to place an actual stake in him has not yet been confirmed.


Meanwhile, Mr Musk is believed to be launching a counter-bid for Twitter. This leaves open the possibility that Twitter and Musk might takeover each other. Experts fear the resulting critical mass of bullshit could lead to an explosion polluting the entire planet with micro particles of fake news, aka tweets. But hope remains, as it seems that Mr Musk thinks he can pay for Twitter in the only thing less stable than his personality: bitcoin.


Image from Pixabay by Tumisu



First published 26 April 2022


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