Now that Arron Banks has taken back control of our money, Elon Musk has taken back control of our laws, and Russia has taken back control of our borders, it is time for Britain to do the most important things it will ever do.
Becoming bored with flags, or flagging, Reform UK is pivoting to signs. As well as being swarmed by sea, someone in the Party has noticed that Britain is also being invaded through the air. The only way to prevent this is to change airport signs to say 'Our-rivals and Deportures".
These policies will come into effect from next Tuesday, despite Reform not being in government and only having a Jacuzzi-full of MPs.
Oh, and all litter bins everywhere across the land will have plaques on them saying 'Keep Britain Tiny'.
Reform communications officer, the BBC, said, 'We don't know why we are doing this. Everyone knows Reform voters can't spell.'
Image: WixAI
The CEO of Twitter, also known as X by as many as three people, has admitted that the British electoral system is more than a Twitter poll.
'Apparently you can only vote once, you have to use your real name and if the party with the most MPs wants to, they can hold off calling another poll, sorry election, for up to five years,' he posted on Twitter. He also ran another poll which suggested he should be crowned King of England, but apparently, constitutionally, that is also a little flaky. Even Grok agrees.