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Musk bans anyone who disagrees with his free speech policy from Twitter


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Elon Musk has announced that he has started to take control at Twitter by banning any user who disagrees with his free speech policy.


'I'm all about free speech and anyone who disagrees with that, can literally shut up and go away,' said a bullish Mr Musk.


Mr Musk has also announced that he is working on a book entitled 'The speech you are free to have'.


First published 29 April 2022



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23andMe to offer 'What percentage Elon Musk?' option


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Elon Musk’s stated determination to have more children, on top of the 14 he has already, raises the possibility that in the future, all living human beings will have at least some Elon Musk in their DNA. 


With this in mind, genealogy company 23andMe has said it plans to offer customers the option of knowing what percentage Elon Musk they are. 


'Of course, this won’t be compulsory,' said the company. 'If you’d rather not know, we can just put it down as ‘South African heritage’.'


As this option isn’t available yet, we have produced this handy guide to determining whether you might be one of Musk’s offspring.


1) Do you have a ridiculous name? If your name is Techno Mechanicus, Seldon Lycurgus, Exa Dark Sideræl or X Æ A-Xii, it’s highly likely you are a child of Musk. However, this test is not considered conclusive, as you may also be a Geldof. 


2) Do you find yourself paying court to vile people, pretending to be impressed by them just because they have power?


3) Do you often fire people for no reason, then frantically rehire them when you realise they were doing something important?


4) Do you spend a fortune building spacecraft which invariably blow up when you try to launch them?


5) Have you designed a road vehicle so ugly, it actually looks better after it’s been vandalised?


6) Is Amber Heard trying to sleep with you? (NB This only applies if you’ve inherited a lot of Elon’s money.)


7) Do you have a freakishly large puppet head?


8) Are you creepy as hell?



Image by amorimbiotec from Pixabay

Musk proven to be far-sighted for starting US goods boycott early

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Although it is probable that Elon Musk had forewarning of the tariff blitz by President Trump, and presumably worked out that every country affected (read that as every country bar Russia) would react and fight back by boycotting US products, he showed great prescience by triggering a world-wide boycott of Tesla products weeks ago.



'I don't know how Jeep and Ford are going to catch up with Elon in terms of lost sales.  He sure makes his competitors work,' said a motor industry spokesman today.  Some US auto makers are considering paying crowds to torch their cars on the forecourt to help level the playing field.  Or just publishing the real fuel costs of running them.  


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