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Jeffrey Epstein’s amazing memory

A close associate of convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein has been talking about his amazing memory.


She claims that Epstein had a photographic memory and never, for example, made a shopping list. ‘He’d remember everything. If he needed 101 things from the supermarket, he’d remember them all and wouldn’t forget a single thing. It was amazing.


‘He didn’t have an address book, because he could remember all the names and all the addresses, He’d do the Christmas cards himself, by hand, addressing all the envelopes from memory, without hesitation. He could remember all his friends’ birthdays and their anniversaries. And he’d remember the birthdays of all their kids, and how old they were. Jeffrey never forgot an eighteenth birthday.


‘His astonishing memory meant that he didn’t need to keep any contacts in his mobile phone. You could give him any name, and he’d just dial their number from memory. It was his party trick. He’d borrow someone’s phone and dial a number from memory – Donald Trump, Prince Andrew, whoever. The girls all loved it when he did that.


‘The news coverage about the so-called Epstein List makes me laugh. He would never have had a list. He would never have needed one. Never in a million years. He remembered it all in his head. No address book, no phone contacts – of course not!  He didn’t even keep his call history – he said that would be cheating.  He thought people would doubt his unbelievable memory if he kept any kind of records, so he didn’t.


‘So when Ghislaine Maxwell says that there was no Epstein List, I’m thinking ‘damn right there’s no list’.  Jeffery should have left his brain to science. Then the boffins could have worked out what made him so special.‘



Maxwell offered immunity on condition she doesn't give evidence

In a plea deal thought to be the first of its kind, Ghislaine Maxwell has been offered immunity from prosecution on condition she doesn't turn states evidence and tell the justice department everything she knows.


"Sure, it's kind of unusual," admitted US Justice Secretary Tommy Fratboy, a recent appointment of President Trump. "It's more common to offer minor criminals immunity in return for their testimony against kingpins. It's in the public interest to catch the big fish, even if it means letting the little fish go.


"But in this case... er... look, the whole Epstein thing is such old news, why are people still obsessing about it? Seriously, there's so much going on that's more interesting. Have you seen the new season of the Kardashians? That Kylie Jenner sure is hot! And then there's sport - how 'bout dem Cowboys?"


He added that he'd certainly never been to Epstein's island himself, if Epstein even had an island, which he couldn't confirm because he'd certainly never been there.


However, other senior government officials consider it risky to release Maxwell even under conditions which amount to a super injunction.


"We've been talking to our colleagues in Britain, who say there's somewhere we can put her which guarantees she'll never be seen or heard from again."


Asked what it's called, the official said "Well, this might be a typo, but it says here it's called 'Mrs Brown's Boys'."


Image from pixabay


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