top of page


For decades, parents have put up with watching 2nd rate cartoons as there has always been a few smutty jokes just for them. However, the latest summer blockbuster "Under the shed" has been a winner with the kids but has enraged parents and grandparents alike.


"It's just a cartoon about some woodlice living under a shed," one angry parent told us. "We spent almost £50 on tickets and £30 on snacks at our local cinema and there's not a single blue joke, insinuation or double entendre anywhere. I mean, who would make a film about bugs who eat wood without a single "he's got wood" joke? I'm beyond disappointed."


Cinema manager, Gary Edwards, told our reporter, "We've never had so many people ask for their money back. These parents have my sympathy. I was expecting some "behind the bike-sheds" innuendo or even a "beautiful tits" gag when the woodlice discover a birds' nest but there's nothing."


Grandfather of 25 (not his age), Steve Jackson, was furious. "I've been watching this kind of crap for years with my kids and now grandkids. I've only managed to sit through them because of the borderline filth and there was nothing. Not even a camp grasshopper with a dirty laugh or a slutty slug, doing snail trail jokes. it's an absolute disgrace."



Why not join our WhatsApp channel, NewsBiscuit Daily Posts? You can access the latest output from NewsBiscuit and share posts easily with friends, family and colleagues using WhatsApp. Get some biscuits in your pocket (sorry about the crumbs, though) by clicking here.



First published 19 Jul 2022


If you enjoyed this archive item, why not buy thousands of archive stories found in our eBooks, paperbacks and hardbacks?

















Christopher Nolan, the director of Interstellar and Oppenheimer, has turned his attention to the story of Seventies soul band Odyssey in his new film of the same name.


Beginning with their formation in New York City in 1977, the movie traces the band’s rise to global disco success under the guidance of their chief songwriter Homer Simpson. Among their hits featured are Native New Yorker (‘Up in Harlem, down on Broadway’), Going Back to my Roots (‘Zippin’ up my boots’) and ‘D’oh! Trying is the first step towards failure.’


Filmed entirely in Betamax on 8mm Ciné-Kodak, the film shows the perilous journey the band had to make to succeed in the music business. It has been warmly received by critics. Nathan Nerd, chief film writer of the Los Angeles Times, said: “Homer Simpson’s Odyssey is a moving allegory for life itself. Also, it’s danceable, whereas Oppenheimer was a snooze-fest.”



Why not join our WhatsApp channel, NewsBiscuit Daily Posts? You can access the latest output from NewsBiscuit and share posts easily with friends, family and colleagues using WhatsApp. Get some biscuits in your pocket (sorry about the crumbs, though) by clicking here.



Donald Trump enthrals as a swaggering but gormless world leader who throws his weight around across the globe, making everything worse.


After imposing ruinous tariffs - which he is then forced to cancel - and after splurging $50bn on a war with Iran which leaves it stronger than before, our deluded hero momentarily realises what an oaf he is and considers resigning.


"Yes!" cry the movie's director, producer, camera operator, sound recordist, lighting engineer and focus puller at this point. "Just sod off and stop plaguing us with your stupid tweets!"


But then Trump's guardian angel (played by an in-form Peter Mandelson, dressed in a white dressing gown he borrowed from Jeffrey Epstein) persuades him to carry on and commit a seried of even more ridiculous blunders.


To this end, President Trump builds a vulgar ballroom on the rubble of the White House's east wing, an even more vulgar triumphal arch, and he withdraws troops from Europe - thereby undermining Nato and giving Vladimir Putin carte blanche to walk right into places like the Baltic Republics.



Category: Horror



Rating: Even grimmer than "Melania".



bottom of page