top of page
Search

Film review: It's A Blunderful Life


Donald Trump enthrals as a swaggering but gormless world leader who throws his weight around across the globe, making everything worse.


After imposing ruinous tariffs - which he is then forced to cancel - and after splurging $50bn on a war with Iran which leaves it stronger than before, our deluded hero momentarily realises what an oaf he is and considers resigning.


"Yes!" cry the movie's director, producer, camera operator, sound recordist, lighting engineer and focus puller at this point. "Just sod off and stop plaguing us with your stupid tweets!"


But then Trump's guardian angel (played by an in-form Peter Mandelson, dressed in a white dressing gown he borrowed from Jeffrey Epstein) persuades him to carry on and commit a seried of even more ridiculous blunders.


To this end, President Trump builds a vulgar ballroom on the rubble of the White House's east wing, an even more vulgar triumphal arch, and he withdraws troops from Europe - thereby undermining Nato and giving Vladimir Putin carte blanche to walk right into places like the Baltic Republics.



Category: Horror



Rating: Even grimmer than "Melania".



Following the Fawlty Towers revival, Netflix announces an On The Buses reboot




One of the worst-kept entertainment secrets has now been revealed. Netflix have commissioned a brand new series of the legendary 1970s sitcom. It is also confirmed that Emma Thompson has been appointed as Executive Director / Producer. At a media briefing she gushed:-



“On The Buses, (or OTB as us thesps call it!) was the drama series that inspired me to become an actress, and has formed the backdrop to my life, relationships and work ever since.



I have already approached my dear friend Salmy – Salman Rushdie of course – to write the scripts. He was a bit concerned that he has not written comic material before but I assured him that that never bothered the original writers.



My dear dear friend Stephen Fry has absolutely insisted that he has the part of the driver Stan Butler. He will of course bring the acumen and gravitas to the role that Reg Varney sometimes struggled to deliver. And as soon as the rumours circulated that this classic was in the pipeline, my phone didn’t stop ringing! I answered an early call and a voice screamed down the phone ‘I hate you Butler!’ I recognised it immediately - it was of course my dear dear dear friend Hugh Grant!! He was born to play the part of Blakey!!!”



Miss Thompson continued “we will of course ensure that the plots are brought bang up to date and reflect the 21st century. We now see Olive as a sexy, attractive, politically-savvy, intelligent, independent, compassionate and caring character. We haven’t cast the role yet but watch this space!” At this point reporters noted Miss Thompson simpering coyly.



Miss Thompson concluded “Netflix are already aware that cinema spin-offs of the series were amongst the top-grossing films of the 1970s. They have asked me to sketch out a full-length feature – working title ‘Transgender Strategies and Seating Arrangements On The Buses’”.



First published 19 Feb 2023


If you enjoyed this archive item, why not buy thousands of archive stories found in our eBooks, paperbacks and hardbacks?

















Rotten Tomatoes proscribed as a terrorist website




With the obviously flawed evaluation of 'Melania' on the website dedicated to providing obviously flawed evaluations of brilliant films, the Trump administration has taken steps to close down Rotten Tomatoes, claiming it is run by 'domestic terrorists'.


'Some of the so-called reviewers are obviously communists,' said a spokesman for the President.  'The rest are just FAKE,' he added, refusing to clarify if they are fake reviewers, or just fake something else.  Fake communists, maybe?


The part of the internet that Rotten Tomatoes sits in has been raided by ICE agents and all the ones and noughts making it operate have been deported.  


'The President added up the ones and noughts we arrested, using his amazing math skills, and totalled 83.  Apparently there were more noughts than ones,' explained an aide.  'He has calculated that Truth Social adds up to eleventeen million with no noughts,' he added.  'And Truth Social gave Melania twelve stars out of ten'.



Image credit: deep dream generator, edited in Wix

bottom of page