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Singing can raise spirits says MP



Another MP has offered advice to Britons worried by rising prices and facing financial hardship.


Noah Eydeer, the MP for Head-In-The-Sand, suggested that people who are concerned by rising prices should turn to singing to raise their spirits.


"I understand what a jolly rotten time members of the public are having, but people do have a choice about how they react in a situation and I think that singing is a wonderful way raise their spirits. Rather than spending time worrying about where the next meal is coming from or how they will pay the fuel bill, why not belt out a few verses of "Don't Worry, Be Happy" by Bobby McFerrin or "Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life" by Monty Python.


The MP also suggested that if households have "Sing-offs" with neighbours outside the food bank, then that could lead to a stronger community spirit. "That would take their mind off needing to eat."



Author: urbanhermit



First published 18 May 2022


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Government introduces new P.O.O.R. tax.


As rising prices make even basic necessities unaffordable to anyone on a low income, the government has announced plans for a new ‘Purchase Of Ordinary Requisites’ (P.O.O.R.) tax, which will add 100% to the cost of many everyday items. A government spokesb@stard said, “There seems to be some confusion among those on low pay, which leads them to believe that despite their reluctance to earn a decent wage, they should still be entitled to a basic standard of living. This new tax will make life easier for them, by making it obvious that they must do without certain items if they are too lazy to earn enough money to pay for them.” Some of the items which will be subject to the new 100% P.O.O.R. tax are: Cheese: This used to be considered as an affordable basic foodstuff, but the price of cheese has rocketed in recent months. Traditionally, cheese was an essential ingredient of a Ploughman’s Lunch, but with the addition of the P.O.O.R. tax to the already high price of cheese, ploughmen and other agricultural labourers will have to make do with nothing but a thin scraping of cheap margarine on their sandwiches. The government advises those who cannot afford cheese to eat cake, although a small allowance of Dairylea is being considered for anyone who is willing to pick fruit. Energy: The government believes that poor people don’t need gas or electricity, reasoning that if they can’t afford to buy food, they won’t need to use energy for cooking. As lack of food causes low blood sugar which leads to symptoms such as sweating, they won’t need energy for heating, either. Holidays: The government regards holidays as an unnecessary extravagance for anyone who isn’t a Tory MP. Even a rainy weekend in a caravan in Skegness is too much of a luxury for minimum wage earning plebs. Housing: Rising mortgage interest rates and high rents are making it too expensive for many people to afford a home. The government advises those who don’t earn enough to keep a roof over their head to live in a tent. Unfortunately, as tents are classed as an item which could be used on a camping holiday, they will be subject to the 100% P.O.O.R. tax which applies to holidays. Just in case the P.O.O.R. tax doesn’t succeed in making those who are already struggling financially totally miserable, the government is also planning to employ ‘Sunshine, Mirth, Infectious Laughter and Enjoyment’ (S.M.I.L.E.) Wardens, who will impose on-the-spot fines on anyone on a low income who still looks happy.



First published 30 May 2023



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