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Trump rants over poor attendance at his Great State Unfair



'My Great State Fair was meant to be the centrepiece of America's 250 years of independence,' whined US Crybaby-in-Chief Donald Trump.


'It was organised by Freedom 250, a company set up by me - a businessman who has spent his entire life bilking ordinary Americans like sub-contractors out of their money.


'So why on earth didn't the whole population come to Washington to get ripped off at the my Great State Unfair's overpriced hot-dog and soda stands?' asked an irate Trump.


'Maybe because they were already getting ripped off by FIFA for beer and quesadillas at World Cup matches.


'I've got to hand it to those guys, they're good,' conceded Trump.


'After I've been impeached, I'm going to team up with them. We'll call ourselves FIFAT, and together we'll screw the world like you wouldn't believe.'



Image credit: chatGPT

Rev Green set to be freed as new evidence points to shocking miscarriage of justice



Convicted murderer, The Reverend Green, is to be released from prison after what’s being called a gross miscarriage of justice during the now infamous Cluedo Mansion murder case in 2009.


Green was sent down for a full life term without remission, following Mum’s revelation it was he who committed the grizzly murder using a length of lead-piping in the mansion’s stately ballroom.


However, that conviction is now being called unsafe after new evidence emerged accusing Mum of being a serial cheat at all family board games.


Daughter Tamsin confirmed Mum had once stashed an extra £500 note from a second Monopoly set, in order to settle a crippling fine that would otherwise have seen her crash out of the game after she landed on Mayfair which belonged to Toby who had a hotel on it.


Dad said: ‘You think you know someone and that they can be trusted, then they go and do something like this. It’s impossible to convict Rev Green now as we only have Mum’s word for it that the incriminating evidence was actually even in the envelope at that time.’


But Mum was putting on a brave face. ‘They can say what they like. I’m not worried. At the end of the day, this is all just over a silly trivial pursuit.'



First published 25 April 2023


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Rev Green set to be freed as new evidence points to shocking miscarriage of justice



Convicted murderer, The Reverend Green, is to be released from prison after what’s being called a gross miscarriage of justice during the now infamous Cluedo Mansion murder case in 2009.


Green was sent down for a full life term without remission, following Mum’s revelation it was he who committed the grizzly murder using a length of lead-piping in the mansion’s stately ballroom.


However, that conviction is now being called unsafe after new evidence emerged accusing Mum of being a serial cheat at all family board games.


Daughter Tamsin confirmed Mum had once stashed an extra £500 note from a second Monopoly set, in order to settle a crippling fine that would otherwise have seen her crash out of the game after she landed on Mayfair which belonged to Toby who had a hotel on it.


Dad said: ‘You think you know someone and that they can be trusted, then they go and do something like this. It’s impossible to convict Rev Green now as we only have Mum’s word for it that the incriminating evidence was actually even in the envelope at that time.’


But Mum was putting on a brave face. ‘They can say what they like. I’m not worried. At the end of the day, this is all just over a silly trivial pursuit.'



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