As news broke today that a part-time Churchwarden from Potters Bar has funnelled £200,000 into Reform in the last six months, the Churchwarden has spoken about the strain of finding the money to keep Reform UK Ltd afloat out of his non-existent salary.
'Nigel suggested it would be easy,' he said. 'After all, the Reform leader's girlfriend had managed to find nearly £1 million pounds to buy a house near Clacton, despite not having an income of any note. I do some conveyancing,' he added, 'but I didn't get the Clacton gig. 'That would have made the donations so much easier.'
The Churchwarden is expected to make up some of the shortfall by advising on architectural landscaping, a subject he doesn't have any experience of. 'Apparently some foreign billionaire wants me to act as a consultant as long as I use the fee to help Reform out,' he said.
A Reform spokesman said Dear Leader would be able to help out with fundraising, if needed. 'He could arrange flowers on the occasional Sunday, as long as a photo-op was included. And, of course, payment. In crypto.'
Image credit: perchance.org
