As from today gambling slot machines in pubs are accepting wedding rings, house title deeds, and promises of “I’ll get it back to you with extra by next week”.
Industry lobby groups have welcomed the changes, saying that for far too long the ‘pub gambling professional’ has been stifled by slot machines being able to only accept coins, notes and a debit card. However, charities providing support for those affected by gambling addiction say these changes will only increase the misery of the addicts and their families.
'This couldn't be further from the truth,' said a spokesperson for the lobby group. 'We've gone to great lengths to make our game machines attractive to adults and children. If we can bring different generations of one family together to play our slot machines - well, jackpot.'
Already a record fine, this stands to increase by 15/2 if Stroll On By comes in. Payers William Hill, were surprisingly enthusiastic to fast track a new account opened by the Gambling Commission CEO.
The official response from the Gambling Commission CEO is “It’s a dead cert this one, this is so much fun, won’t be stopping at this current time”.
A William Hill representative says they will get round to checking this new account at some point, probably later this afternoon.
First published 31 Mar 2023
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