Updated: Jun 5
Providing hope for weight-watchers and genocidal maniacs everywhere, Benjamin Netanyahu has managed to reduce the average weight in Gaza to negative figures. Said a spokeswoman: ‘In the last few years the weight of Palestinians had sky-rocketed, but once you took the rubble off them, they were loads lighter.’
Coupled with preventing food aid, the Israeli government have been able to enforce a rigid detox diet – if you count bread and water as toxic. ‘Helping them to shift that Christmas weight, despite Christians being 1% of the population. And those who did not even know they were fat, have felt the pounds drop off – along with unwanted arms and legs.’
Those trapped in Gaza have been less than complimentary about the low carb diet they have been put on. Despite everyone now being the kind of thin only a 1990’s super model could dream over, many are demanding actual food. She said she was not disheartened by Palestinian complaints: ‘You can’t win with those guys. It’s always feast or famine.’
image from pixabay
