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The all-out annihilation of Palestine - ideally accompanied by the death of all Palestinians - can now proceed with an active chorus of international approval, after the Israeli government claimed that Palestine was listening to tinny versions of Ibiza anthems from its phone speaker whilst on the bus.


One Netanyahu apologist added, 'Asking them to put headphones on is only giving the terrorists what they want. The only logical response to this moderately rude behaviour is the total destruction of Gaza, the annexation of the West Bank and the killing of every Palestinian man woman and child.


'Now that we've made up this obvious lie, we can really accelerate the slaughtering. Hooray! From the river, to the sea, from tinny tunes, we shall be free.'



Image credit: perchance.org


Benjamin Netanyahu plans to offer small boats to the people of Gaza, and of the West Bank, so that they can go to ... well, anywhere they want, really. Just so long as they go somewhere - anywhere - else, or at least, just go away. 


And he can then occupy the empty, rubble-strewn territory they've vacated, as part of his wonderfully simple, straightforward, 'what-could-possibly-go-wrong', Single State Solution.



The people of Ukraine and Gaza forget all about their suffering - being bombed, shot and/or starved, and being generally f*cked about by Donald Trump and his arse-licking acolytes - in their ecstasy at learning that some singer (?) has become engaged to some footy player.


'My family have all been killed, I've been seriously wounded and my home and all my possessions have been destroyed' said one happy man. 'But hey-ho!  Who cares about minor inconveniences like that?  I couldn't be happier, knowing that this couple are set for a lifetime - or at least, a week or so - of wedded bliss.  I can't stop thinking them all day long, and at night as well, when I am kept awake by the noise of bombing, shelling and gunfire.'



Image credit: deep dream generator

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