- James_doc
- Jul 23, 2025
Girlguiding UK have announced the introduction of 72 new badges in line with modern children's interests and passions, with a notable inclusion being one for successfully using a vape pen.
'We needed to stay relevant,' said inclusion and marketing head Orla Brown. 'While the Rainbows and Brownies are still interested in nature and playing, by the time tweens and teens hit Guides, we needed a plan to prevent us from haemorrhaging members to the dreaded and non-specific hanging out.'
Members of the organisation's youth steering group were pleased to see it taking steps to evolve and remain relevant. 'I'm glad they ditched the happy slapping badge,' one told us, 'that thing was soooo cheugy. I got my badge for showing how to use a watermelon-breeze and a cola-ice at the same time to give something, that like, tastes really boujee.
'I can't wait to get to Rangers next year and get my Jailbait badge for looking old enough to get served vodka in an offy.'
Footnotes for anyone not in Gen-Z:
cheugy - out of date, trying too hard, not cool
boujee - up market, high-end
Picture credit: Wix AI
Boomer Bob Bridlington boomed 'In my day, you could get a mortgage on a 4 bedroom house with just a firm handshake. And that is because you couldn't get smashed avocado on toast. That is a scientific fact. And anyone who disagrees is awake.'
'What I hate about Gen Z and youngsters in general is how they will outlive me and potentially, get hold of all the wealth I have been hoarding.'
'Bring back National Service - and hanging! I never had to do National Service, but it'll be good for them. Unlike hanging, which is too good for them.'
Gen Z's Tara Taylor said 'I'm going to smash this avocado in his face.'
Image: mogyo78 - Pixabay