Organisers of next year’s Glastonbury Festival have created a new pre-ticket ordering system in a bid to beat ticket touts and alleviate some of the chaos normally involved with applying to attend.
Anyone wishing to buy a Glasto 2025 package will first have to attend in person at Worthy Farm, and present themselves to one of the kiosks set up in the cow sheds. It is assumed that only seasoned festival goers will be fine with trudging across muddy fields to accomplish this initial task, and that tout bots might struggle.
Once inside the shed they will be photographed, have their personal details recorded and their inside leg measurement taken. Such biometric information will be compared when the jamboree begins. They will also be asked to identify a number of traffic lights, just in case any bots have managed to sneak through. Finally a couple of hoops outside to jump through and they can leave with a registration number for the online booking queue later in the month.
Government ministers will be relieved to hear their tickets will arrive in the normal way via a plain brown envelope.
Image: DanikPrihodko - Pixabay
Noel and Liam Gallagher, the on-off partnership at the heart of the band Oasis, have teased the date of their next split on social media.Â
If the suggestion is true, they will split after an acrimonious and violent row backstage during their forthcoming American tour, probably once the stadium’s already full of fans who have sold their kidneys to afford tickets. However, the band’s PR manager declined to say which brother will hit the other with a guitar and which will storm out, saying we’d just have to wait and see.
The two will then spend an unspecified period sniping at each other on social media until they finally realise they need the money - sorry, that blood’s thicker than water - and reunite once again.
Asked whether knowing about the row, split and reunion in advance doesn’t mean the whole thing’s just a publicity stunt, the PR manager said, 'No, they really are that stupid,' before Liam hit him with a cricket bat.Â
Photo by Austrian National Library on Unsplash