Donald Trump has opened a new golf resort in Scotland. Jeffrey Epstein did not attend.
The new 18-hole course at Turnberry is not named after Jeffrey Epstein.
Later, he will open a new 18-hole course in Aberdeenshire. That course isn’t named after Jeffrey Epstein either.
The White House says Trump will also meet Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer to have his ego stroked for a bit, and to get some respite from media questions about Epstein’s List and his relationship with Jeffrey Epstein.
The President hopes that, by promoting his personal interests so publicly while in office, the media will write about something other than Epstein.
A spokesman for all media outlets said, ‘Epstein. Epstein. It’s all about Epstein. It’s an Epstein frenzy! Trump is named in Epstein’s List. Trump was told he was on Epstein’s List and then lied about it. New pictures of him and Epstein keep turning up! No wonder it’s all about Epstein.
‘Actually, just to explain, me and the lads are betting on how many times we can insert ‘Epstein’ into a news item. I’m currently in the lead.’
Picture credit: deep dream generator
A campaign was launched today to impose a 15mph speed limit on some of the smaller, quieter roads in Guernsey.
“We’ve been aware for some time that young hotheads in their 50s and 60s have been seeking out these roads to enjoy the high octane thrills of driving at 20mph. Naturally this isn’t the sort of people we want to attract so, with the usual pretence that it’s something to do with public safety, we are imposing a 15mph limit.”
First to be caught by the new cameras was Gervais de la Boucher, a retired stockbroker driving a red Jaguar MkII because he likes to think of himself as a bit of an Inspector Morse-style silver fox.
“I was on my way to play golf,” he explained, “and a sort of madness came over me. I just lost control. Even as the needle crept up to 17mph, then 18, I just didn’t care.”
He was bound over to appear at Guernsey magistrates court next week, but protested that the court’s on the other side of the island, so if he keeps to the speed limit, he won’t get there on time even if he sets off now.
image from pixabay