Following on from a disastrous Willy Wonka experience in the UK, and an equally unsatisfying Bridgerton event in the US, it would appear the public have now been let down by another themed attraction, ‘The Labour Party in Government’.
One disappointed visitor, Toby Williams, explained, “I voted for this when it was first proposed. A lot of promises were made regarding this experience but it looks as if we’ve been badly let down. The people behind behind this fiasco must be raking it in.”
Pensioner, Joyce Evans, told us. “I was interested to see the Environment display, but all I saw was some dodgy looking guy holding a solar panel and hyping up a heat pump. To be honest the whole thing left me cold.”
The organisers have said they make no apologies for anyone disappointed at what they are providing as they were forced into changes after inheriting costs from the previous ‘Tories In Wonderland’ event.
However, that’s unlikely to appease disgruntled customers. As a VIP patron, Lord Waheed Alli, put it, “I paid a lot of money to one day see this, a lot of money, and now I have, it’s a complete sh!t show!!”
image from pixabay
Accused of talking Britain down and focussing too much on economic doom and gloom, the Government have turned to comedy to lighten the messaging, starting with the Labour HQ ( Humour Quotient).
A Downing Street source told us, “Let’s bring back the Whitehall Farce. We need to step up the slapstick and ensure we make contact with every banana skin. After all we know the public love to see a pratfall.”
Realising that Sir Keir comes across as slightly robotic, the suggestion is he throws in a robot dance to accompany every speech, and Rachel Reeves is expected now to deliver her first Budget from the Comedy Store.
Another idea is for Angela Rayner to wear clown make-up for interviews, sing a quick chorus of ‘Baggy Trousers’, and stick a custard pie in the face of Laura Kuenssberg.
As our source put it, “If pensioners are going to freeze this winter they may as well die laughing.”
image from pixabay